Your heart, your biggest asset

hearthands

(Thank you Adyson Bradbury for taking a perfect photo for me last minute, you’re the greatest. ❤ you!)

Sometimes it’s scary to love with our whole hearts. It’s risky. It can be uncomfortable. It puts you at risk for getting hurt, but also for truly loving with your whole being.

Like I said, it’s scary.

If you’re anything like me, it comes completely natural for you to open your heart, let everyone (and everything) in, and give of yourself wholly and completely. People, like us, just love to love! We feel good when we love.

To love and to receive love requires vulnerability. And along with vulnerability comes with it hurt, pain, and disappointment. I know, for me, I can literally feel what I call ‘love energy’ running through my veins when I am connected with others on a deeper level. And on the flip side, something that feels like poison runs through my body when I get hurt. When I feel lonely. When I’m scared, or confused. I feel physical pains, and they get really intense at times. I’m not quite sure if this makes me weird, or abnormal, but maybe others feel this too (and it’s not pleasant.)

Sometimes I wish I could just lose the ability to feel. It seems like my life is controlled by my feelings, and I make many decisions based on them daily. This makes me quite spontaneous at times, but also quite rash as well. Both have their place in life, but I’ve gotten some great outcomes from distancing myself from my emotions, therein gaining the ability to think logically about a situation, (then make a better decision based on logic, and not feelings.)

If I never felt, I’d never get hurt. But I’d also never know what it is to truly love either. It’s a hard balance: to feel, but not too much.

I was talking to an old friend of mine last week, Jessie, and found out that she is a lot like me. She thinks with her heart. Her opinion is that people like us (people with BIG hearts) were put here to show others how to love. To show others that love really is at the root of all things, and that our hearts just might be our biggest asset. And I think she’s right.

The tough part about our hearts being our biggest asset is that they are, at the same time, our biggest weakness too. Since we feel so much, and so often, we tend to be quite sensitive, wearing our hearts on our sleeve and allowing our environment to affect us in such a huge way.

If you’re a person who thinks with your heart, just know that you’re not alone. That’s another insight from my friend. She told me that I’m not alone. And I’m not.

And you’re not either.

There are others who are right there with you, feeling your pain and grief. Feeling your victories and triumphs. Life is a constant struggle of keeping balance. A lot of times our greatest strength will be our greatest weakness.

Try and find the balance in your strengths, knowing that you’re not alone in this effort to strike that perfect balance. Keep in mind that you’re not alone in life. There are others who are going through the same things you are. There are others who have been where you are now, (and they’re still alive!) and are much stronger and wiser because of their experiences.

Try to find the joy in where you are now. This moment won’t last forever, so take all that you can from it because it will be gone before you know it.

Storms can only survive so long before they move on, allowing the sun to peek it’s loving arms out from behind the clouds. So today, allow yourself to feel. And to love. And to thrive. Keep striving to find your balance.

I love you.

Peace and Love to you my friend, I’ll see you on the other side 🙂

❤ Brittany

P.S. As promised in my latest blog post from last week, here’s the link to the imperfect open-mic night video of me and my brother on my new YouTube Channel. There’s not much to my channel yet, but I’ll be posting more videos in the near future. To receive all the latest updates, don’t be afraid to subscribe! 🙂

He took one bold move toward confidence

Screen Shot 2015-03-18 at 11.32.55 PM

So I went out on a date last Friday night, a much needed date-night with my hubby. (Yes. A moment for just us, away from computers and books and family! No offense family. We love you, but you understand.)

Upon entering the coffee shop/bar, an unexpected opportunity appeared. I noticed a sign on the doors informing me that this place would be hosting an open-mic night the following evening. (Open mic nights are live shows generally focused on performance arts like poetry and the spoken word, music, and comedy.)

At first I got really excited! And then, I got really nervous. In that moment, I immediately knew that I wanted to participate, but was really afraid. Afraid of looking dumb, afraid of looking stupid, and, mostly… afraid of not being perfect. I mean, what if I mess up? What if I forget my words and my voice cracks and I freak out or something? People will for sure think I’m a terrible performer and an embarrassment to life itself..

This sounds ridiculous, but we all do this! To some extent or another, we talk ourselves out of exciting opportunities (and let them slip on by) merely because of some gut feeling inside telling us that we might just mess things up. And it never fails. We make our scary story out to be the worst case scenario, world’s gonna end, drama that ends with the feeling of burying our heads underground never to show our face again. Well, at least I do this. (..Maybe I really am the only crazy one around here!)

But the more I listened to the internal dialogue going on in my mind, the more I knew that this was something I needed to meet head on. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Would people walk out, ignore, or laugh at me? Perhaps. Big deal.

Most of the time people won’t be jerks like that anyway. You know, they will probably even be on my side, cheering me on, encouraging me to keep on keepin’ on. People aren’t as hateful as we think they are. And besides, I’ll probably never see any of these people again. Or maybe I will, but will they even remember who I am? And honestly…is it REALLY that big of a deal?

Big whoop. I messed up. Do better next time. I should adopt that attitude a little more often. But, as always, easier said than done.

So I decided “I’m going to do this.” Then, I figured I ought to drag someone in with me 😉 If I fall, someone else is going down with me! ..So I messaged my brother. (He’s an excellent guitarist.) I messaged him asking, “Hey! Would you pretty pleeeease play music with me tomorrow night? It’s an open-mic night and it would be really fun!”

One thing to know about Tyler is that he’s quite bashful when it comes to performing in front of people. He generally says no to any kind of request like this, so I figured he’d let me down easy.. Instead of a let down, what I got was, “Oh man, that sounds crazy. I’ve never done something like this, but it would be good for me to finally do it. I’m in.” (Jaw-dropping moment here..) I reply, “Well, alright! It’s on. We’re doing this!”

And we did.

And it was amazing.

Needless to say, I’m a pretty proud sister right now. My brother faced his fears of playing in front of people, out of his comfort zone. I had a blast playing music with him, (in public for the first time!) and there will be many more moments to come.

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If you’re interested, I’ll be posting a recording of our performance on my upcoming YouTube channel. It’s not ready yet, so I’ll keep you updated as to when it’s up and running. (Updated 2016.06.13: Here is the long overdue should’ve been posted video now! 🙂 🙂 )As you will see, my voice cracked in places it’s never cracked before, I messed up all sorts of words, and I skipped a whole entire section of the song that Tyler and I had originally rehearsed. But hey, you know what? I’m still alive. I’m still breathing. And I’ll do better next time.

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So how are you conquering your fears? Feel free to reply in the comments about how you have conquered one of you fears.

Thanks for reading!

Peace & Love,

Brittany

 

Kick your fear to the curb

Today, I came to a realization.

I decided that it’s absolutely insane to NOT do something (you want to do) because you’re afraid. Afraid of looking stupid, afraid of being out of your comfort zone, afraid that you’ll be seen as weird or stupid or ugly.

Fear is a funny thing. I’ve learned in my 26 years that most of my fears arise from insecurity. Insecurities I didn’t even realize I had! For instance. I’ve ALWAYS had long hair. Always. I grew up with long hair, and maintained long hair well into my twenties. People KNOW ME as “the girl with the long, curly hair.”

@ Baker Creek Seed Company, Mansfield, MO

@ Baker Creek Seed Company, Mansfield, MO

Long hair, right?

(Oh, and by the way, I love Baker Creek! The best seed supply store around. Oh, and I love to garden too!)

Okay, so back to what I was saying..For years that was my identity, “the girl with long, curly hair.” But I knew that my identity had to change sometime. (Especially since I want to grow and better myself over the course of my lifetime, it only makes sense that my identity will change too.) And It’s scary to change or even think about changing that identity we hold on to so tightly.

Whatever the reason may be, we all seem to be quite comfortable with staying the same. It’s just easier.

So my hair was my security blanket. It was what I had known. I mean I love my long hair, so why would I ever want to get rid of it? Well, I’ll tell you why: Because it’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but was deathly afraid of it.

Until today.

I never imagined I’d say this, but…

I got rid of my security blanket.

I did it.

I cut my hair.

This is HUGE for me. You may or may not realize just how attached I was to my hair, but let me tell you- I was really attached. It took me about 6 weeks to mull over (realistically) even the idea of wearing my hair short. Six weeks! I finally made the call. And now, my hair. is. short.

Just take a look for yourself!

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I really love it! And it’s not because I think it makes me look sexy or beautiful, or attract more attention.

No.

I love it because it’s a true testament to me conquering a true fear of mine. It’s a bold statement of how I totally and wholly faced up to my fear. And to tell you the truth, I’m feeling pretty awesome.

I’m basically a warrior woman now.

And it’s exciting too! Because, I mean, if I can conquer this fear, that leads me to believe that I can conquer just about any fear I want. Any fear I believe I can conquer, I’ll be right. I can do anything I believe I can do. And so can you. You can do anything you want to do when you believe you can.

So try and think about your personal insecurities. The big ones, the small ones.

Once you can identify your insecurity, you’ll be much closer to defeating it. And I’ll tell you from personal experience…the only way I’ve been able to overcome my personal insecurities (fears) is to meet them head on.

A great first step is to just try identifying your biggest insecurities. Next, one by one, you can work towards meeting them with understanding. Try to truly understand what you’re afraid of. Attempt to figure out, deep down, why you fear that particular aspect of life.

Then, do something about it.

Do exactly what you’re so afraid of. (Okay, so maybe not EVERYTHING can be applied here..like if you are afraid of dying, please don’t go out and kill yourself. Seriously, be smart about this! I am not condoning physical death. But perhaps you could die in other ways..like by quieting the ego. Now that’s a tough one. If you try that out, let me know how it goes!)

In closing, here’s my challenge to you:

Start on the path to conquering one fear right now. (I’m extremely serious when I say this; If you don’t start now, when will you?)

In the comments below, feel free to tell me that one big insecurity you want to own up to right now. We can all be accountability partners on this! Let’s all work together on our goal to kicking fear to the curb and conquering it once and for all!

And as always:

Peace & Love to you all, my dear friends.

I love you,
Brittany