Again it is so..
I sit here to write.
My chest, heavy.
Tension running through my veins.
Evening closing in now, and that hyper-analytical brain of mine now moves into over-drive.
Assessing all of the day’s events that could’ve had such an effect on me.
To cause such pain in my body.
And then I realize something.
These weighted feelings in my chest, residing deep within my soul are none other than the by-product of..
And a fear of what you might ask?
The fear of what is to come.
Fear of the future. Fear that I won’t be successful, crippled by my own insecurities. Fear that I won’t have what it takes to handle all that comes my way.
Fear of lacking money in life, especially on upcoming travels and a fear of missing out on truly living. Fear I’m too intensely focused on being successful, “becoming a success.”
Fear I’ll miss out on what’s really important in this life. Which consists of many things including joy, life, bliss, feeling the unconditional love that resides in all things.
Fear that while I’m alive in this human form that I’ll miss out on living life to the fullest, feeling fulfilled.
A great fear that somehow “
I’m doing life wrong.”
But that leads me to ask the question, “What does living life right look like?”
And does it even exist?
These are things I contemplate during my day.
Sometimes I get so deeply entrapped within the prison of my mind that I fear I’ll never make it out alive.
That I’ll never find happiness again.
But once more, I stumble upon this blank canvas. Filled with possibility.
The tools I need to move out of imprisonment, and into freedom.
These simple words.
And I place them on the blank canvas.
I write to tell a story. I write to tell my story.
To put thought to paper.
It’s like magic…
All of a sudden, (like the wave of a wand), the tension I once was feeling is gone.
And the thoughts that were once spinning circles in my mind seem to slow down.
All is quiet now.
And as the moments pass, I feel at ease.
This is the beauty of “the outlet.” Noticing which tools work best,
and using them.
So, again I write.
I write to express, I write to tell a story, I write to release those thoughts and feelings and energies that have been stored up for far too long.
In order for that future moment in time when they will need to go on to tell their story..
To be free.
You see, fear is all in the mind.
It begins as a thought, a simple chemical reaction in our brains, that then travels from the mind, and into the body.
And when this happens, we can feel a tingly sensation, a sort of tension, a heaviness. We feel weighted down, as if gravity’s pull had just increased 10-fold.
But all that can change in a second when we realize that fear isn’t as real as we’ve believed it to be at all. It feels real, but is not.
And the only way to rid the feeling of fear, is to move through it. To become friends with it.
To find our personal tool that works for us. To get that energy flowing.
To get it out of the mind, and out of the body once and for all.
Until the next day.
You see, Steven Pressfield taught me once that we never fully “get rid of fear.” It’s always there. It always shows up at just the right time to spoil our plans, to crash the party.
But we can never let it win. For we have greater things waiting for us upon the horizon, shining bright like the sun.
Our dreams. Our destinies.
It is only when we see fear as what it truly is, that we can truly move through it. To feel that fear, and do what we’ve set out to do anyway. No matter how difficult or hard it may seem.
So I pose the question to you, the reader, my friend: What form of “fear” is showing up in your life right now?
How can you see if for what it truly is? How can you change your perspective of that fear? Turning the negative and disempowering into courageousness and tenacity?
How will you press forward in your life, calling in those fears ever more closely? Becoming friends with them in the process, in order to conquer your dreams and live life to the fullest?
Just some things to think about. 🙂
I love you.
P.S. I think I feel better now 😉