Accepting what is: A journal entry

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A journal entry I name this, and a journal entry it shall be ❤

I don’t know what the future may hold.

I never imagined that I’d end up here…living in Brazil, with a baby girl who just turned one recently, with a husband who loves me no matter what and continues to surprise me daily as to how far his love stretches for me. His devotion. His do-ing-ness and his be-ing-ness.

I’m currently in a phase of accepting what is.

And every time I resist the reality of my body hurting, my foot pain, my stomach muscles aching simply by existing and needing to ask for help and in receiving help on almost every level imaginable (financial, physical, emotional and spiritual…)

I. Feel. Defeated.

It’s one of the worst feelings in the world…to feel helpless. Like you can’t do ANYTHING by yourself.

Like, that pride?

Yeah….

It’s gotta go out the window.

Or in the words of Titus Andromadon…”It’s time to GO GIRL!”

I wanna feel capable. I wanna do things on my own.

It makes me feel like I CAN. I AM ABLE. I AM SUCCESSFUL. I CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO. I CAN HAVE ANYTHING I WANT.

And for now, this phase is here to teach me.

A lot.

And I’m practicing allowing it.

All to unfold in the timing and way and manner in which it needs to.

Life keeps on life-ing.

And so it does. And so it will.

And for now, I must simply be STILL. And allow the WILL of the Universe, of God

to guide me.

To hold me. To HEAL ME.

Gonna go rest now.

Feeling the call…

Of the couch.

Close my eyes and rest.

For another moment while I still can.

As I receive the help from my sitter Duda…and the help of a cushion.

Haha.

I love you.

Muah,
❤ Momma B

Ter paciência

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Patience, patience, patience.

Breath, breath, breath.


Focus, focus, focus.

Healing still remains.


Rest, rest, rest.


My body still needs rest.


The itch to go and

do, do, do

I fight with every step.


Music, healing music

Harmonies 

Fill the air


Go outside

And ah, fresh breath

Can breathe without a care.


Who is out there?

What is this all for?


Does it even truly matter

If in a moment

It could all be gone?

Emotions toss up

They turn all about

Learning to lean in with a lot of grace

Tossing and turning

About in this life

To figure out, what is my place?

Tuning in

And turning on

To all that there is to know

And experience

About myself and

that of life

It all can be quite confusing at times

And for that

We have the light

For the light, it shows

The truth

Which now grows

Into all that was and is becoming

For is there life out there?

We may never know

Until then

We’ll just have to be 

…patient.

XOXO,
❤ Momma B