Accepting what is: A journal entry

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A journal entry I name this, and a journal entry it shall be ❤

I don’t know what the future may hold.

I never imagined that I’d end up here…living in Brazil, with a baby girl who just turned one recently, with a husband who loves me no matter what and continues to surprise me daily as to how far his love stretches for me. His devotion. His do-ing-ness and his be-ing-ness.

I’m currently in a phase of accepting what is.

And every time I resist the reality of my body hurting, my foot pain, my stomach muscles aching simply by existing and needing to ask for help and in receiving help on almost every level imaginable (financial, physical, emotional and spiritual…)

I. Feel. Defeated.

It’s one of the worst feelings in the world…to feel helpless. Like you can’t do ANYTHING by yourself.

Like, that pride?

Yeah….

It’s gotta go out the window.

Or in the words of Titus Andromadon…”It’s time to GO GIRL!”

I wanna feel capable. I wanna do things on my own.

It makes me feel like I CAN. I AM ABLE. I AM SUCCESSFUL. I CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO. I CAN HAVE ANYTHING I WANT.

And for now, this phase is here to teach me.

A lot.

And I’m practicing allowing it.

All to unfold in the timing and way and manner in which it needs to.

Life keeps on life-ing.

And so it does. And so it will.

And for now, I must simply be STILL. And allow the WILL of the Universe, of God

to guide me.

To hold me. To HEAL ME.

Gonna go rest now.

Feeling the call…

Of the couch.

Close my eyes and rest.

For another moment while I still can.

As I receive the help from my sitter Duda…and the help of a cushion.

Haha.

I love you.

Muah,
❤ Momma B

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