I just feel tired…and love is all there is

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I just feel tired.

Tired of the nonsense
Tired of the noise
Tired of the incessant mental chatter

Of all that could have been
Could be
Once was
Should be..

My body feels achy
Achy from all the healing

Healing hurts sometimes

It feels good in some moments
We begin to feel freer
Lighter
More well-rounded
Centered
Whole.

My heart beats in my chest.
I feel grateful.

My chest constricts
With anxiety

My belly burns
With the fires
From below

Rising up
In form of anger

The insecurities
The confusion
The lack of willingness
To accept things

They way that they IS..

Yeah, I know life won’t always be like this
I know I technically used the wrong verb there

But this is my story
And so my story goes

I feel.

So much.

ALL. the FREAKING. TIME.

Every ounce of my beingness
Is an emotion

Life. is. Emotion.

It all feels so fragile at times

At other times strong.
Brave.
Courageous.
Never-ending.

There is such MAGIC here to experience!
To explore.

And right now,
As I draw in my deepest breath
Glancing around
Out my windows

Watching the sun dance among the
Trees.

The wind
And the birds
And the bees

(literally)

The elegance
The art
The nature
The flow
Of the universe
This world
This one-ness of all that
Is

The dogs that bark,
The tree that stands
Tall
In the ground beneath
It

The sound of the gardener
Doing his work
Lawn mowers
And weed-eaters
Blowers
And more..

The sound of the chitter chatter of my
Lover
My friend
My sitter
My daughter

Em baixo
Beneath me.

Portuguese language
Filling my home
My head
My heart.

These are the days of our lives.

Each moment eases into the next
Until we wake up one morning
One moment
And realize that so much
Has passed

And yet
So much is here
Still
To be

And the future
Well
Who knows when that’ll ever get here?
Arrive

To arrive.
At life.

What does that even mean?

Perhaps it means this moment.
For life is all that is.

Right here.
Under our nose.

Our breath
Our life

Our hearts beating without us telling them
To

So much out of our control
Yet others

Not
So
Much

Life keeps on a passin’
Are we passin’ along
With it?

Arriving here
In this now moment

For the now is all there ever IS…

Listening.
Breathing.

Feeling.

Experiencing.

Being.

I hear the sound of my daughter’s voice
The music of some show turned on
I feel the breeze brush my arm, my legs, my cheek.

Breath fills my lungs
Breathing in fully now

Dialing into this moment
Ever so clearly now

Now
Now
Now
Now
Now

…and love is all there is.

Amen.

XOXO,
❤ Momma B

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