Figuring it all out…
One step at a timeFeeling so stinking impatient
Just want all that’s here to be mine“All in due time”
I hear
That’s fineBut I still want it all
And I want it to be MINE.
I noticed something about myself today
How I really really really really reeeeeallyy like to be
RIGHT
All the time.
My perfectionist kicks in
I feel nervous, anxious, pressured
To not mess up
To get it all right
To make it all fine
I get so obsessive
Over the silliest of things
And wanting control
To control
It all
In an act of self-preservation
I suppose
So that I don’t loose validation
Or acceptance or love
And of love
I somehow had learned
Way back when
That love was something to be earned
And could be taken
At any time
I made some connection
Somewhere back then
That if I were to make a mistake
Love could just go away
Leaving me with guilt
And shame
And blame
For hurting another
By simply learning how
To play the game
Of life of course
And it seems so silly now in my conscious
Space
Of awareness
And being-ness
But in the moment
Nerves get triggered
Sparks start to fly
Sometimes we feel like running
At others just wanna
Hide
Or scream and yell and
Cry
Life is here now.
It continues passing on by.
And I breathe in so deeply
Taking it one step at a time.
XOXO
I love you,
❤ Momma B
(photo taken on a tiny “rua” in Florianopolis, Brazil)
Aww thank you so much Daddio 😁🥰🙏🏼😽❤️ I love you so!!!
I love that little trail or path back there. So peaceful and remote most of the time.
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Do you have a way with words sweetheart and so meaningful! You are so me….🥰🤔🤪🙏🏻😎
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