Hey there again, it’s me.
The achiever.
The “winner.”
The “can-do-it-all by MYSELF!”
And I caught her this time.
It’s so funny.
How much our egos really want that satisfaction…of doing everything..
Alone.
Independent.
Perfect.
Spectacular!
Unique, one of a kind!
And I caught that voice today.
I caught it’s subtle voice in the background again,
telling me that I couldn’t feel proud of me
Of achieving
anything I achieved
If I received help
While achieving it.
But it’s so funny how incredibly
Outside the realm of reality
That mindset,
that thought pattern
Truly is.
I wrote today in my journal.
About how,
We are villagers.
Community dwellers
Community-driven by default.
And it’s my belief
That the society I grew up in
(at least in the United States)
Has molded my perspective
In such a way
That I feel like
I’m on this journey alone
That it’s “every man for himself.”
And if I don’t get it done right, on-time, perfect and on my own
Then somehow I’m lesser of a person
Weaker
And don’t deserve to feel good
About me
Or my life as a whole.
Now, I am in no way blaming
Anyone or any thing outside of myself
For where I am today
That’s all me
I can take responsibility for my actions
Or even the lack there-of
And I am, and I do
The thing is
that
I DO have the opportunity
In this now moment
To have a change of heart
Of mind
Of perspective
That from this moment forward
I get to choose differently
More courageously
More consciously
About what it is I do
And perceive
And make things mean
I am so grateful for where I am today
I am so grateful for the woman I have become
And am becoming
And I declare that from this moment on
I get to fall in love with the process of
Asking for help
And receiving it
And making it mean
Something completely
And radically
Different
Than ever before
I get to be proud of me
For being WHO I AM
Not only for what I achieve
But who I BE
in the world
And when I ask for help
And receive it
Gratefully,
I get to make that mean
That
I am strong
That we are stronger
Together
And that I am the co-creator
Of my own life
I may not have control over everything
But of what I do
Have control over
I get to LEAD
In a way like never before
And be proud of the way
I show up in my leadership
In what I say
In what I do
In who I be
In who I am becoming
So, sure, I can do it all “MYSELF!”
This is true
But I could probably do it better
With the help of someone like
YOU.
We are unique life-forms.
and
We are ONE.
I say let’s come together
In communion
And show the world
How it’s done.
I love you.
May all of your wildest dreams come true.
XOXO,
❤ Momma B
