Getting older and living deeply

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Cailin Way Photography @ cailinwayphoto.com

 

So tomorrow’s my birthday.

December 18th. A week before Christmas.

Mixed emotions fill my heart and mind as I ponder about whether to be excited or simply scared to death.

As you might tell from my previous thought, I have extreme tendencies. It’s my habit to be all or nothing.

So, this life?

It’s my practice. The art of finding balance.

And oh what a practice it is.

You see, I set high expectations for myself. Having perfectionistic tendencies to top it all off, and that my friend can be a recipe for disaster.

Or not.

The reality lies in a simple matter of choice.

What do I choose?

Because in reality, life is all about choosing. We always have choice.

We may not recognize it, or be aware of it, but it’s always there. Waiting for us to choose. Then take action.

So, tomorrow’s my birthday. And I feel damn excited.

And you know why? Because I choose to be.

And all of that other stuff? The perfectionism, high expectations, anxieties and disappointments in life?

That can to go to the wind.

Because the life I choose to live is a conscious one. To be a light. To love deeply, knowing that pain will come in life no matter what because it’s life.

Pain is here to teach us something.
To give us clues as to what’s next to learn during our journey here. So why not give it all we’ve got?

I feel my experience of life continues to grow deeper by the day, I feel life intensely, wholeheartedly, fully. I know the truth of who I am. And that fear? The fears of making mistakes, the fears of not being enough, judgement and disapproval?

That fear that does so great at keeping me small?

No longer will it win.

Not if I have anything to say about it. Not here, not now.

And you know why?

Because I have a message to share.

To the WORLD.

And it’s not my message, but the absolute truth that the universe turns on in cycles as its effect.

And that message is one of love. Of light. Of abundance, and radiance!

Of life.

So, I’m getting older?

Sure.

And it’s absolutely beautiful.

Brilliant, really.

Because you know why?

Because it is. And the “isness” of this life is indeed perfection.

Absolute divine perfection.

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Thank you so much for reading!

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Also, feel free to check out my YouTube Channel here where I post short inspirational videos, music, and other random musings: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDHpEALAPz2TCtZIFLBF0tQ

😉 Muah!

I love you,
Brittany

Why are we so damn hard on ourselves?

I have a question to ask you..

“Why are we so damn hard on ourselves?”

No. But seriously?

What purpose does it serve, and honestly…tell me, does it REALLY help us to show up more vibrantly in our lives? Is it reallllly THAT empowering?

Still thinking this through, but my initial response is “NO.

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This subject and idea is so strongly on my mind this morning because I’ve been having SUCH DEFEATING thoughts about myself! (And in all honesty…who DOESN’T?!)

About my body:I’m too big. I’m not as fit as the other girls I work with. I wish I had a lower body fat percentage. I feel so ugly, WHY IS MY BODY SO UGLY!? I hate my cellulite. I wish I could look like X,Y,Z..

About my life:I’m not successful. I wish I were successful. Why can’t I just BE THERE already? I feel like I’ve put so much effort into growing that I SHOULD be somewhere else than I am in this moment.

I need more money. I wish I made more money. I want freedom. Why can’t life just be EASIER?! I’m 27. I’m anxious as hell thinking that I may never live up to my potential! I thought I would ‘feel’ like an adult by now..but I still feel lost and scared and have NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING.

So these thoughts and worries and nit-picky criticisms we dish out to ourselves..what purpose do they serve?

And if we’re doing this to OURSELVES…it only begs the question..”Are we doing this to others as well?”

And how does that make THEM feel?

I mean, we all have our ups and downs…we can’t expect to be “perfect” in the sense that nothing painful ever happens..

But we sure can change our perspective on what ‘perfection’ really IS and what that looks like.

We can, in turn, say that “All is well and is unfolding as it should. I am okay. I am enough. In this moment.” And then breathe that deep sigh of relief that we are, in fact, EXACTLY where we’re supposed to be RIGHT NOW. No where else. We’re meant to be RIGHT HERE.

So…What can we learn? RIGHT HERE. In this moment..?

—–

And just to clarify..this message isn’t so that people feel sorry for me..no.

I’m no victim. Unless I choose to be..

All I know is that I feel 100% better when I start focusing on all that I DO have.

What can I be GRATEFUL for?

Like TRULY GRATEFUL??

Find it. See it. Hold on to it. SHARE it.

I’m in a current practice of being more gentle in this lifetime. Being kinder..starting with myself.

Whatever is going on in our internal world shows up in our external world.

So..

  • Be love.
  •  Be kind.
  • Be intense JOY.
  • Be lighthearted.
  • Be easy-going.
  • Be forgiving.
  • Be OUTRAGEOUS!!
  • Be fun.
  • Be understanding.
  • Be gentle.

…and start with OURSELVES first!! Then it’s a simple game of domino effect.

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When we can truly shine that deeply cultivated joy and happiness from the inside-out, others will notice. And it just might brighten their day up to a whole new world of possibilities.

I love you SO SO much!!!

You are beautiful. And wonderful. And absolutely perfect..RIGHT NOW. In this moment.

To all of you humans in need of hope, love, joy, and happiness..
❤ B

Coming back to love

When I come back to a place of love, I don’t feel empty any longer.

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I was just thinking about life.. like I normally do. Deeply analyzing why I’m doing what I’m doing, why I have certain thoughts, why I believe what I believe, and how I’m forming decisions.

Trying to define myself all the while…that’s how I feel secure in life..to have this “role” I define myself by, whether it be job title or family title…but eventually THAT feels constricting because now I’ve placed myself into a box. Limitations creep in and I feel suffocated.

All of this can be quite energy depleting, not to mention overwhelming when I keep it all to myself. Hold it all in.

So I was reading a Wayne Dyer email I received (his family is still sending them out..how amazing is that?!) And the words he wrote were perfect for me to hear at just this exact moment. Something struck a chord in me.

I started balling! In fact, my cheeks are still wet as I write this..

I kept trying to “figure out” who I am in the eyes of others. I know myself, but how does the world see me? My family, my friends, my coworkers, strangers…

How am I showing up on the outside? I know how I’m feeling on the INSIDE…

Are my actions and decisions frowned upon? Should I go after a “soul-calling” to travel and experience the world without “security” of a job? Or should I just stay in one location for the rest of my life to suit everyone else? To hold on to the security of the job? To make others happy…and then maybe I will be too?

And the “conclusive question” I came to is this.. does it even matter?

Who cares what other people think?

Either way, people will think what they want to. Period.

There’s no changing that. I could try to manipulate people into thinking one way or another…but honestly, that’s a whole lot of work for something that truly doesn’t matter.

The real question is…”What do I think?”

That’s more true for me.

I know myself better than anyone else. Sometimes I don’t see things in myself and others help me to see aspects of my personality that I am blinded by..but my truest nature? I KNOW down to my BONES my truest nature.

And that is one of love.

Wayne Dyer is an amazing being.

Here are 2 little excerpts that I’ll leave you with today that totally rocked my world..

“Remove labels attached to your life. Make an attempt to describe yourself without using any labels. Write a few paragraphs in which you do not mention your age, sex, position, title, accomplishments, possessions, experiences, heritage or geographic data. Simple write a statement about who you are, independent of all appearances.

Cultivate your calling. Make an attempt to shift your career objective from self-absorption to a calling. That’s right, a calling. Remind yourself that this is an intelligent system and that you are here to be love and have love by serving. Use your talents and special interests to fulfill your service with your calling. Your life work will take on a dramatic shift toward abundance, and you will feel on purpose and on the path of the sacred quest.””

— Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Just. Be. YOU.

That is all God asks. That is all the universe asks.

We are all beings of light and love. Go and be that. Today.

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I love you,
❤ Brittany

Excited as ever. Scared to death.

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I think we’ve all been here before.

We have a new, life-changing opportunity- say we landed a new job, found out we were pregnant, found the love of our life, bought a new home, got accepted to that highly esteemed university miles away from home.

And it’s interesting. When we’re really watching, we find that our emotions can be completely confusing.

On one hand, we’re really excited: “New life, Here we come!” And on the other hand we’re totally and extremely scared to death.

We introduce worry into our lives asking questions like:

– “What if I fail?”
– “What if I’m not good enough?”
– “What if I don’t measure up, and make a fool of myself?”

It’s this internal battle between excitement and fear that makes us feel so..

Confused.

We start questioning ourselves:

– “Was this the right move?”
– “Why the heck did I do this?”
– “Is this really even what I want?”


I bring this up because an amazing opportunity has been offered to me.

I went out in search of it, and things unfolded into something that has the potential to be a beautiful thing.

It’s not set in stone quite yet, so I’ll have to keep the details of it a secret for now.

But my emotions…Now those I can share with you! (And those of you who know me personally understand that I have plenty of them to go around!) 🙂

So more about this opportunity and my internal battle around it.

Awesome & Exciting Aspects:

  • It would be an amazing change of pace
  • Different, (better?) lifestyle
  • Adventure, and lots of it
  • New friends
  • Helping make a difference in people’s lives
  • Increase my personal independence and confidence
  • Multiple new opportunities
  • Learn another culture and language

Scary & Uncomfortable Aspects:

  • Long way from home, family, & friends
  • New surroundings/ way of life
  • Have never done it before, afraid of failure and not being good enough
  • Scared it won’t be as awesome as I think it will be
  • Afraid of being taken advantage of, since I’m new to it
  • Fear of looking stupid and people laughing at me
  • Scared my cat (my ultimate soul mate in life) will pass away while in my absence
  • Will be away for a while

I understand logically that the experience will be what I make it. I ultimately have the choice to see the positive side to the process. Not dwell on the less-than-great aspects.

I understand that nothing is permanent. I won’t be there forever. I won’t be in any one place forever for that matter. I ultimately have the choice to leave whenever I want. Because I can.

So I guess I’m coming to a possible conclusion that in order to welcome any change into our lives, we must be willing to let go of the stories. Let go of the thoughts that aren’t serving us. Because the truth is that I don’t know anything. I don’t know anything at all.

Maybe I’ll die later today and all my worries would be for nothing. The truth is that I don’t know what things will happen, good or bad. No one does.

So through this process of excitement and doubt, and the torn emotions I’ve been experiencing, I’ve come to realize that life is all about balance. It’s constant struggle to find the balances in our thoughts. Our emotions. Our lives.

Every moment is precious. Let’s start living each moment like we really believe that. When you start thinking thoughts that are full of worry, obsessing over the same old things, getting the same old results -(anxiety, depression, resentment, fear)- Acknowledge them, and allow them to pass.

Let them go.

Allow yourself to be free. Free from the mental clutter. The incessant chatter. Find the balance.

Be the balance.


Thank you so much for reading! (You made it to the end!)

I love you more than you know.

With all the gratitude a heart can hold,
❤ Brittany

The Present..it’s a gift.

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I was never taught, growing up, about being present. About truly living in the moment. My head was generally up in the clouds somewhere looking to the future. Looking forward to my next ice cream bar, or my next chance at going swimming at the local pool.

It would seem that we are naturally born with this gift, (of being present in the now), but it seems that as we age things change. We learn new things. New ways of thinking. We learn to get stuck in the past, or anxiously await the future and what it has to hold.

For me personally in my adult life, the past had become a sad and dark place. Full of guilt and regret. Full of stories. I would tell myself stories of how I was maltreated in relationships with men. I’d play victim. I’d allow my past to define me as a person.

Who I am.

Who others are.

Assuming all the while that because of past behaviors, people were who they are. And things would never change. They’d be that way forever.

I’d play a story in my mind about my future. I’d say things like, “I can’t.” “I’m not good enough.” Defeating myself before I even began. Defeating myself before puting effort into something I desperately wanted to achieve.

Being present has never been easy for me, and I’m continuously training myself with each day, bringing myself back. Back to reality. Back to myself. In this moment.

“Who am I in this moment right now?”

Presence in life is precious. It’s a gift. That’s why they all it the present. It’s where all the real-time action takes place. The excitement. The misery. The inbetweens. The confusion. All equally important and necessary for living a well-balanced life.

The present is the most important place you could be at any given time. And there are tons of benefits to being fully present. Throughout your day. And in your life.

#1. You can truly listen.

I’s a well-known fact that we all love to be heard. During conversations with others, it’s quite obvious when someone is truly listening to what you have to say and responding–vs–when someone is in their own head, with their own agenda, just waiting for you to close your mouth. They can’t wait just tell you what’s in their mind!

Some people like to just brain-dump on people randomly in conversations instead of keeping engaged in the subject at hand, listening, and responding to what’s happening. Right then. In the moment.

You might find that by becoming more present in life that people will actually want to be around you more and really desire your presence. But you’ve gotta’ listen.

Don’t try and solve their problems. Just listen.

When you’re not in your head calculating — when you’re truly listening — magical things can happen.

This brings me to my next point, because when you’re totally present and truly listening..

#2. You build a foundation of trust.

People confide more in people who are in the moment. It’s like a natural instinct we all have or something.

They can trust, that in the future, you’ll be there. You’ll be that person to go to for guidance, for a shoulder to cry on, for a deeper connection.

When you’re not in your head, creating your own agenda, you can start to help others in a more authentic way.

You can truly be grateful for moments. For other people. For yourself.

And gratitude, as we all know, makes us feel whole. Gives us feelings of abundance.

Which leads to my last point. By being present..

#3. You gain a sense of well-being.

Your health actually improves physiologically when you’re mentally present in all your moments. You can check in to your body and how it feels.

Get a sense of what makes you feel good. What makes you feel great.

You get a good look into the effect people have on you — whether they’re a drain. Or a fountain.

Whether they’re toxic. Or whether nourish you.

You’re not stuck in the past nor the future. You’re experiencing new things. Creating new thoughts and thought patterns.

You just feel better!

You’re not stuck in the story of the past where you play victim and feel sorry for yourself. Feeling victimized for all the things that have ever happened to you.

You’re free.

No longer are you stuck in the future, telling yourself stories of how you can’t get what you want out of life. About how you can’t achieve greatness.

You’re in the present moment. So you just start doing. Start achieving.

You become yourself again. The true you.

Simple. Pure. Real.

YOU.

You’ve arrived home within yourself.

And what a gift.

Afterall, there’s no place like home.


Thank you so much for reading, friend. I am truly grateful for you.

Thank you for being present with me in this moment. It feels good, doesn’t it? 😉

I challenge you to put an effort in becoming more present in your day, and in your life.

Start today! Right now.

Bring yourself back home. Live a richer, fuller life. And just be.

With gratitude and grace,
❤ Brittany

Comments on the site are always welcome! Thanks again friends, you're amazing. ❤