Why are we so damn hard on ourselves?

I have a question to ask you..

“Why are we so damn hard on ourselves?”

No. But seriously?

What purpose does it serve, and honestly…tell me, does it REALLY help us to show up more vibrantly in our lives? Is it reallllly THAT empowering?

Still thinking this through, but my initial response is “NO.

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This subject and idea is so strongly on my mind this morning because I’ve been having SUCH DEFEATING thoughts about myself! (And in all honesty…who DOESN’T?!)

About my body:I’m too big. I’m not as fit as the other girls I work with. I wish I had a lower body fat percentage. I feel so ugly, WHY IS MY BODY SO UGLY!? I hate my cellulite. I wish I could look like X,Y,Z..

About my life:I’m not successful. I wish I were successful. Why can’t I just BE THERE already? I feel like I’ve put so much effort into growing that I SHOULD be somewhere else than I am in this moment.

I need more money. I wish I made more money. I want freedom. Why can’t life just be EASIER?! I’m 27. I’m anxious as hell thinking that I may never live up to my potential! I thought I would ‘feel’ like an adult by now..but I still feel lost and scared and have NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING.

So these thoughts and worries and nit-picky criticisms we dish out to ourselves..what purpose do they serve?

And if we’re doing this to OURSELVES…it only begs the question..”Are we doing this to others as well?”

And how does that make THEM feel?

I mean, we all have our ups and downs…we can’t expect to be “perfect” in the sense that nothing painful ever happens..

But we sure can change our perspective on what ‘perfection’ really IS and what that looks like.

We can, in turn, say that “All is well and is unfolding as it should. I am okay. I am enough. In this moment.” And then breathe that deep sigh of relief that we are, in fact, EXACTLY where we’re supposed to be RIGHT NOW. No where else. We’re meant to be RIGHT HERE.

So…What can we learn? RIGHT HERE. In this moment..?

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And just to clarify..this message isn’t so that people feel sorry for me..no.

I’m no victim. Unless I choose to be..

All I know is that I feel 100% better when I start focusing on all that I DO have.

What can I be GRATEFUL for?

Like TRULY GRATEFUL??

Find it. See it. Hold on to it. SHARE it.

I’m in a current practice of being more gentle in this lifetime. Being kinder..starting with myself.

Whatever is going on in our internal world shows up in our external world.

So..

  • Be love.
  •  Be kind.
  • Be intense JOY.
  • Be lighthearted.
  • Be easy-going.
  • Be forgiving.
  • Be OUTRAGEOUS!!
  • Be fun.
  • Be understanding.
  • Be gentle.

…and start with OURSELVES first!! Then it’s a simple game of domino effect.

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When we can truly shine that deeply cultivated joy and happiness from the inside-out, others will notice. And it just might brighten their day up to a whole new world of possibilities.

I love you SO SO much!!!

You are beautiful. And wonderful. And absolutely perfect..RIGHT NOW. In this moment.

To all of you humans in need of hope, love, joy, and happiness..
❤ B

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The moment of realization

 

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Outside.

Just sitting in my chair.

Gorgeous morning.

The breeze flows through the leaves on trees swaying back and forth in one constant motion.

The sun is slightly diminished by the clouds, as if some filter were covering it.

And I sit.

In my chair.

Bundled up in the warmest clothes I could find – gloves and all. A fleece blanket swadling my legs.

I breathe deeply.

In…

and out.

A thought about work pops into my mind, so I allow the thoughts to take up space there, to go where they will. I never know where they’ll lead me, but they generally give me much needed perspective of where I am so far in life and how to get to where I’m going.

I start to think of all the people I work with.

And as I sit here breathing the fresh autumn air that is so abundant in this moment, I become aware of something: I have the ability to connect with each and every person I work with.

Every one of them!

But not only that, the biggest realization will come later. After those thoughts pass. I start feeling lighter.

Because for so many years I have been getting down on myself for not mastering something. Just one thing. Something that I am known for.

I feel sometimes that I am behind or failing somehow in life because I have dabbled in so many things, never focusing on just one area of life. Or work, especially.

And here’s what became the fuel of this post: The biggest realization is that I was supposed to just dabble. In LOTS of things! Because in doing so, I now have the ability to connect on so many different levels with so many different kinds of people!

(So there IS a method to the madness after all..) 🙂

And I am known for something – for positively affecting each person I come into contact with. For inspiring those around me. Loving unconditionally with my whole heart – living a life of compassion.

So let’s try again: Failure?

I think not.

I’m just where I need to be. In fact we ALL are!

I’m doing what I need to do. And I trust that I’ll continue to keep listening, doing what I feel led to do in every moment.


So how about you? What thoughts fill your mind?

I challenge you to dig deep and examine them.

To be present.

To put down the phone. Turn off the T.V. Just sit in silence for a change.

Watch your thoughts. Be consciously aware of them. After all, you may be surprised at what you’ll find. 😉


Thanks so much for reading!

I love you.

I hope this message inspires you to greatness 🙂

With all the energy and joy a heart can hold,
❤ Brittany

The Present..it’s a gift.

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I was never taught, growing up, about being present. About truly living in the moment. My head was generally up in the clouds somewhere looking to the future. Looking forward to my next ice cream bar, or my next chance at going swimming at the local pool.

It would seem that we are naturally born with this gift, (of being present in the now), but it seems that as we age things change. We learn new things. New ways of thinking. We learn to get stuck in the past, or anxiously await the future and what it has to hold.

For me personally in my adult life, the past had become a sad and dark place. Full of guilt and regret. Full of stories. I would tell myself stories of how I was maltreated in relationships with men. I’d play victim. I’d allow my past to define me as a person.

Who I am.

Who others are.

Assuming all the while that because of past behaviors, people were who they are. And things would never change. They’d be that way forever.

I’d play a story in my mind about my future. I’d say things like, “I can’t.” “I’m not good enough.” Defeating myself before I even began. Defeating myself before puting effort into something I desperately wanted to achieve.

Being present has never been easy for me, and I’m continuously training myself with each day, bringing myself back. Back to reality. Back to myself. In this moment.

“Who am I in this moment right now?”

Presence in life is precious. It’s a gift. That’s why they all it the present. It’s where all the real-time action takes place. The excitement. The misery. The inbetweens. The confusion. All equally important and necessary for living a well-balanced life.

The present is the most important place you could be at any given time. And there are tons of benefits to being fully present. Throughout your day. And in your life.

#1. You can truly listen.

I’s a well-known fact that we all love to be heard. During conversations with others, it’s quite obvious when someone is truly listening to what you have to say and responding–vs–when someone is in their own head, with their own agenda, just waiting for you to close your mouth. They can’t wait just tell you what’s in their mind!

Some people like to just brain-dump on people randomly in conversations instead of keeping engaged in the subject at hand, listening, and responding to what’s happening. Right then. In the moment.

You might find that by becoming more present in life that people will actually want to be around you more and really desire your presence. But you’ve gotta’ listen.

Don’t try and solve their problems. Just listen.

When you’re not in your head calculating — when you’re truly listening — magical things can happen.

This brings me to my next point, because when you’re totally present and truly listening..

#2. You build a foundation of trust.

People confide more in people who are in the moment. It’s like a natural instinct we all have or something.

They can trust, that in the future, you’ll be there. You’ll be that person to go to for guidance, for a shoulder to cry on, for a deeper connection.

When you’re not in your head, creating your own agenda, you can start to help others in a more authentic way.

You can truly be grateful for moments. For other people. For yourself.

And gratitude, as we all know, makes us feel whole. Gives us feelings of abundance.

Which leads to my last point. By being present..

#3. You gain a sense of well-being.

Your health actually improves physiologically when you’re mentally present in all your moments. You can check in to your body and how it feels.

Get a sense of what makes you feel good. What makes you feel great.

You get a good look into the effect people have on you — whether they’re a drain. Or a fountain.

Whether they’re toxic. Or whether nourish you.

You’re not stuck in the past nor the future. You’re experiencing new things. Creating new thoughts and thought patterns.

You just feel better!

You’re not stuck in the story of the past where you play victim and feel sorry for yourself. Feeling victimized for all the things that have ever happened to you.

You’re free.

No longer are you stuck in the future, telling yourself stories of how you can’t get what you want out of life. About how you can’t achieve greatness.

You’re in the present moment. So you just start doing. Start achieving.

You become yourself again. The true you.

Simple. Pure. Real.

YOU.

You’ve arrived home within yourself.

And what a gift.

Afterall, there’s no place like home.


Thank you so much for reading, friend. I am truly grateful for you.

Thank you for being present with me in this moment. It feels good, doesn’t it? 😉

I challenge you to put an effort in becoming more present in your day, and in your life.

Start today! Right now.

Bring yourself back home. Live a richer, fuller life. And just be.

With gratitude and grace,
❤ Brittany

Comments on the site are always welcome! Thanks again friends, you're amazing. ❤