What am I trying so hard to attain?

So I’m a part of a group called “Soul School” with Alexi Panos and we’ve been doing a lot of work. Like, A LOT of work. Personal development, looking within, sitting with the discomforts of life and celebrating the magic moments that are in every waking moment we’re alive.

Check it out here if you’re interested in or are so led to digging deep within and discovering who you are and how to become the best version of yourself possible. 😉

Well, anyway. We were in a Facebook Live and the following 2 questions were asked:

1. “What have I been trying to get to and my evolution?”
2. “What has been my destination?”

We were challenged to write down our answers. And then tear them up. To be done with the ridiculousness once and for all, knowing that it’s not real. And that we are just where we need to be. That we are enough.

And, well… As I’m a little embarrassed to tell you what my exact answers were, I’m going to tell you anyway. (Because damnit! I shall not bow down in the face of fear!)

It is honestly very eye-opening for me to put words to what my ambitions have been over the past years of personal development, so here goes…

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So.

What is it that I have been trying so hard to attain?

I have literally been trying to become the best version of myself so that I can attain perfection in the sense that I never make a single mistake and that I am seen as perfect and nice and good and the best person all the time

As well as, once achieving this, I’ve believed that I may be able to make ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD! (Because I’m such a good person…)

And, haha!!! How incredibly ridiculous does this sound?! I’m literally rolling on the floor. It’s really hilarious to me.

And it is really good for me to have perspective on this too! And to start retraining and rewiring my brain to believe what is actually true…

Which is this:

I am human. And imperfection IS perfection. The messiness is beautiful.

I will make money when I’m meant to. Not one second before, not one second after.

And I will provide value for others, which will in turn, provide me with some form of value as well! (Whether it be in the form of housing, money, food, etc.)

Personal growth and development is (officially starting now!)  just one strategy to becoming the best version of myself possible in order to help others in the best way possible.

To come back to the truth of who I really am, which is love.

So the question I pose to you is this: What have YOU been seeking, chasing after, trying to attain? What will you write out and rip to shreds?

I challenge you to sit with this for a moment. Write it out.

..And then shred the SHIT out of it!

Just do it!  Because you can.

Thank you for reading!

I love you.

Love always,
❤ Brittany

#WhateverArisesLoveThat #ShredThatShit #Whoohoo #JustDoIt

Just keep moving

It was literally the difference between life and death.

You see, I went for a bike ride.

Gorgeous morning, cool breeze, slight humidity in the air. The sun peaking through the clouds.

One girl. One bike. One trail.

So I’m riding. Wind in my hair, sunshine glistens on my cheeks.

I stumble upon something…

A pool of water. Just sitting there. No movement. No life.

Stagnant. Dirty. Decaying.

A foul odor permeated the air. I couldn’t help but wince.

“Peddle faster.”

So I did.

Another few bends in the road, a beautiful trail among tall trees.

Mostly deciduous. Dancing with the breeze.

Wildlife buzzing through the air. Rustling through the leaves. Magic everywhere.

A tiny concrete bridge, over a tiny flowing brooke.

Ahh… the sound of trickling water.

Soothing, calming.

Fresh air surrounds me. Life abounding.

The MOVEMENT. The flow of the water gliding over the rocks and stones and pebbles.

And it reminded me of this beautiful life. The one that can be as magical as we wish it to be. The one we have (almost) complete control over the outcomes. (At least our perspectives and the meanings we attach to them.)

The choices we choose to make, and the feelings we allow to linger and stay.

And I was reminded of how life is such an ebb and flow.

How we find ourselves in circumstance and opposition, in happiness and joy and love. And if we can just keep moving, everything has the chance to flow evermore gracefully.

We can be so much more radiant. So full of life. And light.

And ultimately, it is WE who get to choose to grow or regress.

To become stronger. Or wiser.

Perhaps we’ll simply settle for a weaker existence. Maybe we’ll dull out.

————–

And if we can learn anything from nature it is the art of flow.

I’m an avid student of life. I learn as I go.

And whatever pain experienced, finding the surprises in the outcomes. Like little lessons tucked away just waiting for me to open them.

So my question is this: What lesson is life offering up to us right now? And how can we master the art of flow in our lives so that we can live it ever more gracefully? More gently?

I love you. You are absolutely wonderful. And beautiful beyond measure.

What’s your soul crying out for today?

—————
So, I went on this bike ride…

and it turned into this poem.

I love you forever,
❤ B

P.S. See what I did there? Forever truly is a long time. But then again, time is merely a feeling. Muah ❤

The art of life

The art of life is love, which can only be found in the stripping away of false things. Love is the innate nature within all of us. It is the process of letting go.

Letting go of the hurt, jealousy, comparison, and self-hate. Letting go of the outdated thought patterns no longer serving us. The pains, frustrations, anger and resentment we harbor deep within our souls.

And once we understand this, when we truly understand that the source of love comes from within, it is then possible to master it. To master the art of love, starting with ourselves.

That’s when the real magic happens.

That’s when we say “I do” to the dance. When we can start living IN the game of life, instead of watching from the sidelines – just waiting to be chosen.

So what if I told you that the magic of life isn’t found in the seeking and finding, but rather quite the opposite?

Because it’s true.

True living happens when we become more present with ourselves and what’s going on around us. It happens when we give more than we take. It’s in the smiles and the laughter. In the tears that tell stories. In the hugs and the highfives.

So what I want to tell myself right now is this:

“Stop waiting.”

Stop waiting for love to find YOU, and give it to others instead.

Stop waiting to open your heart. It may feel uncomfortable, but it is in the discomfort and pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone where you’ll find true progress.

And healing.

And love.

———-

That’s it.

Stop with the waiting.

Start being a REAL player in your own life.

Let go. Let love. And just dance.

I love you more than chocolate,
❤ Brittany

———-
P.S. Notice I said more than chocolate. Now that’s sayin’ a lot!

P.P.S. Isn’t that a freaking INCREDIBLE photo?! If you want more, check out my dear friend Cailin Way’s photography page here! 🙂

Why are we so damn hard on ourselves?

I have a question to ask you..

“Why are we so damn hard on ourselves?”

No. But seriously?

What purpose does it serve, and honestly…tell me, does it REALLY help us to show up more vibrantly in our lives? Is it reallllly THAT empowering?

Still thinking this through, but my initial response is “NO.

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This subject and idea is so strongly on my mind this morning because I’ve been having SUCH DEFEATING thoughts about myself! (And in all honesty…who DOESN’T?!)

About my body:I’m too big. I’m not as fit as the other girls I work with. I wish I had a lower body fat percentage. I feel so ugly, WHY IS MY BODY SO UGLY!? I hate my cellulite. I wish I could look like X,Y,Z..

About my life:I’m not successful. I wish I were successful. Why can’t I just BE THERE already? I feel like I’ve put so much effort into growing that I SHOULD be somewhere else than I am in this moment.

I need more money. I wish I made more money. I want freedom. Why can’t life just be EASIER?! I’m 27. I’m anxious as hell thinking that I may never live up to my potential! I thought I would ‘feel’ like an adult by now..but I still feel lost and scared and have NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING.

So these thoughts and worries and nit-picky criticisms we dish out to ourselves..what purpose do they serve?

And if we’re doing this to OURSELVES…it only begs the question..”Are we doing this to others as well?”

And how does that make THEM feel?

I mean, we all have our ups and downs…we can’t expect to be “perfect” in the sense that nothing painful ever happens..

But we sure can change our perspective on what ‘perfection’ really IS and what that looks like.

We can, in turn, say that “All is well and is unfolding as it should. I am okay. I am enough. In this moment.” And then breathe that deep sigh of relief that we are, in fact, EXACTLY where we’re supposed to be RIGHT NOW. No where else. We’re meant to be RIGHT HERE.

So…What can we learn? RIGHT HERE. In this moment..?

—–

And just to clarify..this message isn’t so that people feel sorry for me..no.

I’m no victim. Unless I choose to be..

All I know is that I feel 100% better when I start focusing on all that I DO have.

What can I be GRATEFUL for?

Like TRULY GRATEFUL??

Find it. See it. Hold on to it. SHARE it.

I’m in a current practice of being more gentle in this lifetime. Being kinder..starting with myself.

Whatever is going on in our internal world shows up in our external world.

So..

  • Be love.
  •  Be kind.
  • Be intense JOY.
  • Be lighthearted.
  • Be easy-going.
  • Be forgiving.
  • Be OUTRAGEOUS!!
  • Be fun.
  • Be understanding.
  • Be gentle.

…and start with OURSELVES first!! Then it’s a simple game of domino effect.

—-

When we can truly shine that deeply cultivated joy and happiness from the inside-out, others will notice. And it just might brighten their day up to a whole new world of possibilities.

I love you SO SO much!!!

You are beautiful. And wonderful. And absolutely perfect..RIGHT NOW. In this moment.

To all of you humans in need of hope, love, joy, and happiness..
❤ B

Coming back to love

When I come back to a place of love, I don’t feel empty any longer.

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I was just thinking about life.. like I normally do. Deeply analyzing why I’m doing what I’m doing, why I have certain thoughts, why I believe what I believe, and how I’m forming decisions.

Trying to define myself all the while…that’s how I feel secure in life..to have this “role” I define myself by, whether it be job title or family title…but eventually THAT feels constricting because now I’ve placed myself into a box. Limitations creep in and I feel suffocated.

All of this can be quite energy depleting, not to mention overwhelming when I keep it all to myself. Hold it all in.

So I was reading a Wayne Dyer email I received (his family is still sending them out..how amazing is that?!) And the words he wrote were perfect for me to hear at just this exact moment. Something struck a chord in me.

I started balling! In fact, my cheeks are still wet as I write this..

I kept trying to “figure out” who I am in the eyes of others. I know myself, but how does the world see me? My family, my friends, my coworkers, strangers…

How am I showing up on the outside? I know how I’m feeling on the INSIDE…

Are my actions and decisions frowned upon? Should I go after a “soul-calling” to travel and experience the world without “security” of a job? Or should I just stay in one location for the rest of my life to suit everyone else? To hold on to the security of the job? To make others happy…and then maybe I will be too?

And the “conclusive question” I came to is this.. does it even matter?

Who cares what other people think?

Either way, people will think what they want to. Period.

There’s no changing that. I could try to manipulate people into thinking one way or another…but honestly, that’s a whole lot of work for something that truly doesn’t matter.

The real question is…”What do I think?”

That’s more true for me.

I know myself better than anyone else. Sometimes I don’t see things in myself and others help me to see aspects of my personality that I am blinded by..but my truest nature? I KNOW down to my BONES my truest nature.

And that is one of love.

Wayne Dyer is an amazing being.

Here are 2 little excerpts that I’ll leave you with today that totally rocked my world..

“Remove labels attached to your life. Make an attempt to describe yourself without using any labels. Write a few paragraphs in which you do not mention your age, sex, position, title, accomplishments, possessions, experiences, heritage or geographic data. Simple write a statement about who you are, independent of all appearances.

Cultivate your calling. Make an attempt to shift your career objective from self-absorption to a calling. That’s right, a calling. Remind yourself that this is an intelligent system and that you are here to be love and have love by serving. Use your talents and special interests to fulfill your service with your calling. Your life work will take on a dramatic shift toward abundance, and you will feel on purpose and on the path of the sacred quest.””

— Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Just. Be. YOU.

That is all God asks. That is all the universe asks.

We are all beings of light and love. Go and be that. Today.

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I love you,
❤ Brittany

Five years ALREADY?

So today is my 5-year wedding anniversary..(wow, has it really been five years?!) Interesting how the time goes by whether we ask it to or not..we can’t control it..and after all, time is just a feeling.

Anyway, back to the message at hand.. 😉

So I felt inclined to read through an old letter my husband wrote me last year, that I stumbled upon this morning in my dresser drawer. Of course, I was hit with tremendous waves of emotion..mainly those of deep gratitude, joy, and love.

I am so grateful to get to peek inside his heart at any given moment, day or night, through his gifts of the written word tucked away in notes for only my eyes to see.

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I love that he puts in the time and effort to express his love, devotion, and appreciation to me in his writing. I really am loved. And I am so grateful for that.

I wanted to write a blog-post, well..mainly because I’ve gotta get down to the REALITIES of life, love, and marriage..but ALSO I wrote too much within a single Facebook post (haha!) so I figured I’d transfer it over here where it’s more easily accessed, read, and so on..

Sooo…MARRIAGE. Oh, what to say about marriage.

It’s definitely not what I thought it would be..

It’s MORE.

Like, I never thought a person could encounter so much happiness, and struggle and pain, move through it, and end up on the other side stronger and more in love than ever. And oh, has it been a ride!

I’ve literally wanted to give up more times than I can count, thinking the grass would always be greener on the other side..but then after sticking through the tough times, speaking my truths, being completely torn apart and vulnerable and communicating with words and actions of love..failing with the love part sometimes a lot..but continuing on..

Well, it turns out that keeping both feet in only made for a better tomorrow..and the next day.

There’s a quote I’m reminded of in this moment..”That which is most satisfying is that which is earned. Anything received free of charge is seldom valued. You can’t get something for (from) nothing. The price is too high.” -Kekich Credo #38

So the message I really want to convey today is this: anything actually worth having will require a certain level of persistence, effort, commitment, and understanding. If I have learned anything in my marriage over the past five years, it is that we create our own realities and that we have all the power in the world to cultivate what we want in life… especially in our relationships, not only with ourselves, but with the ones we love most dear.

I am coming to realize that within this experience I call our “humanness,” is wherein lies absolute perfection.

Without the sudden changes, the unknowns, the plans not going according to plan.. all of it is on purpose. And we don’t have to understand right away, or ever know why. But, what we can do, is trust that in someway, whatever happens in our reality is what’s meant to happen. It’s what’s better for us in the long run. Even if we don’t fully understand it in the moment.

My marriage has been filled with all sorts of amazing things: lessons and learning, adventure, passion, love, joy, faithfulness, commitment..but I won’t delude anyone into thinking that it’s been an easy ride..or “perfect” in the sense that nothing painful ever happens.

Just because on my Facebook profile you only see the happy, adventurous, seemingly-perfect moments, doesn’t mean the exact opposite hasn’t been a complete part of my journey here as well. In fact, much of my time has been spent in darker places before the sun could shine through.

In my marriage over the past 5 years, there has been miscommunication, pain, personal suffering, confusion, questioning, fights, arguments, you name it… But in the end, and through it all, my husband and I both have grown tremendously and are exponentially stronger than ever for going through the pain, truly dealing with it, and moving forward.

I hope that this message can shed some light on some of the realities of life. I hope that what you gain from reading these words is that life in itself IS perfection. All of it’s seemingly random moments, the confusion, the pain, the struggle, the loss, and most of all the messiness.

It’s all a part of the journey.

And the more we can honor and embrace those tougher moments, and really GO deep within ourselves to find our truth and deal with what’s coming up for us, the better off we are in the long run.

I was chatting with my friend Brittany just last night..and we talked about the truth that “the old must die off, before the new can come in.” And what a solid truth that is..in ALL aspects of our lives!

So. Here’s to five-years my love! I am now such a radically changed human in comparison to who I was when we first met.. the old has officially died off (and continues to die more every day) and the new is shining through. I see light in our future. Abundance. Joy. Growth. And a whole lotta love.

I love you more than words could ever express and I look forward to the adventures and struggles that lie ahead..which will only serve to move us closer to our goals in healing the world and making it a better place..making a positive impact on those we meet along the way.

Happy sunshiney day! Be a light in the darkness. Find the magic in all the moments. And live with purpose. Joy. And a heart full of love.

Sincerely yours,
❤ B

Getting real

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Okay guys.

This is a completely random rant on life, finding inspiration, and getting real.

I’m writing this and publishing it.

No waiting a week to make sure all the I’s are dotted and the T’s are crossed. No more nonsense.

I’m tired of putting things off, waiting until things are “ready.”

This post will be “ready” as soon as I stop writing it.

It won’t be perfect.

And I’m okay with that.

If you find errors, feel free to shoot me over a note, and I can edit them.

But for now, I’m just going to write. And then publish.

Heck, maybe I won’t even have a perfect photo for this post. Or maybe I’ll find one just in the nick of time.

But I’m not worried about it. Because it’s the message that is more meaningful than the presentation anyway.

So here goes nothing:

What I want so badly to express today are feelings of getting real with ourselves.

This morning I had a few huge revelations, and I’d love to share them with you. If you hate them, fine. If you love them, that’s fine too. Feel free to quit reading at anytime.

I might offend you. Or maybe not.

But whatever the case, you have free reign to do what you want. Because you are free to make your own decisions. As am I.

Which is why I’m writing this right now.

To you.

To the world.

You see, I want to change my life.

I want my life to be an exact representation of what I feel inside.

What I believe to be true.

I want so badly to make the best difference in the world possible while I’m alive.

While I’m here on this earth.

The truth is that we all die someday.

And I’m growing more and more okay with that everyday.

We all have the same fate.

We’re born, and then we die.

The difference between you and me is what we both do with our time while we are here.

And I want MY time to be one of service, dedication, inspiration, positivity, love, devotion, excitement, adventure, vulnerability, happiness, expression of my true self.

Deep down in my bones I just KNOW that I’m here for a purpose.

A purpose to help people.

To be real. Genuine.

Kind. Thoughtful. Hard-working. Doing more for others than for myself. And being more than okay with that.

Allowing my service to others to ignite the flame of joy in my heart. My soul.

I want to know something:

“Who is bold enough to not only WANT, but is actually WILLING to create change in their life?”

(Whether about health, making a difference, building a business, getting a job, writing well, becoming a better reader, getting better grades in school, getting fit, becoming an artist, playing a musical instrument, travel, whatever!)

I sure haven’t been taking the steps to making my dreams become a reality.

There’s always some excuse. I ALWAYS have an excuse as to why *today* isn’t the day.

And why tomorrow will be better.

And then it’s not.

I’m ready to do this people.

No more crying and doing nothing about it. No more wishing and hoping some magic pill will finally work this time.

What it’s going to take is actually DOING THE WORK.

There are no short-cuts to lasting success.

What it takes is doing the right things. Making good decisions about what to eat, what to do, what to accomplish today, and when, and WHY.

What it takes is persistence.

Keeping our eyes on the goal. And knowing what our goal even IS!

Knowing and truly believing that even when the going gets hard, even when we feel like giving up–that if we want it bad enough it WILL happen.

Our dreams WILL come true.

But we must first believe. (We must!)

If anyone else can do something, so can WE. Period.

They’re only human too.

Even if they’d like to believe differently themselves, or have YOU think so too, they’re NOT superman. And they WON’T come and save you.

In fact, NOBODY is coming to save you.

Nobody is going to do it FOR YOU.

There will be guides. There will be inspiration and gifts from the universe (or God) along the way, but ultimately it comes down to this:

*What do you want?
*What plan will you create?
*And how will you take the action (that is necessary) to really MAKE it happen?

Simple as that.

Doing what it TAKES. (and a lot of times it’s not EASY.)

No hoping here. Just trying different things until it works.

No baby started walking after he/she fell a couple of times. The baby kept trying. And not for days, for weeks! Months! However long it takes! Because that was the goal.

So the baby keeps going until that goal is achieved. And then takes on a newer goal…like running, biking, dreaming.

So my challenge to us as humans with goals that are bigger than ourselves, that we’ve never gone after before is this:

Keep trying!

Persist damnit!

BELIEVE in yourself! (And then others will too.)

Take responsibility for your actions!

Be REAL.

Stop trying to be someone you’re not. Be yourself.

Stop trying to “fit in.” It’s not cool.

But what IS cool, is dreaming.

Is allowing yourself to fail miserably. And to be okay with that.

To laugh at yourself. To laugh with others.

To actually have an idea and make it a reality.

To truly GO after what you want in this life!

Because after all…we only live once. We are alive today. And all we have is THIS MOMENT.

And what are we going to do with it?

What am I going to do with my time here on planet earth?

How will I make a difference? A positive difference in the lives of others?

What can I bring to the world that is special?

Each and every one of us has something to offer the world. And all we have to do is DECIDE what that is. What it looks like. And then DO IT!

Simple as that!

We don’t have to “figure it out” because our purpose NOW is our purpose NOW. And our purpose in 5 years might be completly different! And it’s perfect. And it’s real. And it’s ever-changing.

We are ever-changing.

I love you.

So make the decision today what your purpose is going to be. And then live it. Because you DO only live once. And what you have to offer the world is exactly what the world needs.

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We need you.

So step up and show yourself.

(And know that I’ll be right here with my heart wide open.)


Thank you so much for reading today. I know this is a long post, but I need it to get out to the world. This is MY purpose. And I hope I can inspire you in some way to decide on yours. And then live it.

Feel free to comment below with any thoughts, questions, ideas, whatever.

I’ll be here waiting. And I’ll reply. Because I want to. Because I care.

Now go and have an AMAZING life!! All we have is now.

So ENJOY it while you can.

With forever love and joy and light in my heart,
❤ Brittany