What am I trying so hard to attain?

So I’m a part of a group called “Soul School” with Alexi Panos and we’ve been doing a lot of work. Like, A LOT of work. Personal development, looking within, sitting with the discomforts of life and celebrating the magic moments that are in every waking moment we’re alive.

Check it out here if you’re interested in or are so led to digging deep within and discovering who you are and how to become the best version of yourself possible. 😉

Well, anyway. We were in a Facebook Live and the following 2 questions were asked:

1. “What have I been trying to get to and my evolution?”
2. “What has been my destination?”

We were challenged to write down our answers. And then tear them up. To be done with the ridiculousness once and for all, knowing that it’s not real. And that we are just where we need to be. That we are enough.

And, well… As I’m a little embarrassed to tell you what my exact answers were, I’m going to tell you anyway. (Because damnit! I shall not bow down in the face of fear!)

It is honestly very eye-opening for me to put words to what my ambitions have been over the past years of personal development, so here goes…

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So.

What is it that I have been trying so hard to attain?

I have literally been trying to become the best version of myself so that I can attain perfection in the sense that I never make a single mistake and that I am seen as perfect and nice and good and the best person all the time

As well as, once achieving this, I’ve believed that I may be able to make ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD! (Because I’m such a good person…)

And, haha!!! How incredibly ridiculous does this sound?! I’m literally rolling on the floor. It’s really hilarious to me.

And it is really good for me to have perspective on this too! And to start retraining and rewiring my brain to believe what is actually true…

Which is this:

I am human. And imperfection IS perfection. The messiness is beautiful.

I will make money when I’m meant to. Not one second before, not one second after.

And I will provide value for others, which will in turn, provide me with some form of value as well! (Whether it be in the form of housing, money, food, etc.)

Personal growth and development is (officially starting now!)  just one strategy to becoming the best version of myself possible in order to help others in the best way possible.

To come back to the truth of who I really am, which is love.

So the question I pose to you is this: What have YOU been seeking, chasing after, trying to attain? What will you write out and rip to shreds?

I challenge you to sit with this for a moment. Write it out.

..And then shred the SHIT out of it!

Just do it!  Because you can.

Thank you for reading!

I love you.

Love always,
❤ Brittany

#WhateverArisesLoveThat #ShredThatShit #Whoohoo #JustDoIt

Just keep moving

It was literally the difference between life and death.

You see, I went for a bike ride.

Gorgeous morning, cool breeze, slight humidity in the air. The sun peaking through the clouds.

One girl. One bike. One trail.

So I’m riding. Wind in my hair, sunshine glistens on my cheeks.

I stumble upon something…

A pool of water. Just sitting there. No movement. No life.

Stagnant. Dirty. Decaying.

A foul odor permeated the air. I couldn’t help but wince.

“Peddle faster.”

So I did.

Another few bends in the road, a beautiful trail among tall trees.

Mostly deciduous. Dancing with the breeze.

Wildlife buzzing through the air. Rustling through the leaves. Magic everywhere.

A tiny concrete bridge, over a tiny flowing brooke.

Ahh… the sound of trickling water.

Soothing, calming.

Fresh air surrounds me. Life abounding.

The MOVEMENT. The flow of the water gliding over the rocks and stones and pebbles.

And it reminded me of this beautiful life. The one that can be as magical as we wish it to be. The one we have (almost) complete control over the outcomes. (At least our perspectives and the meanings we attach to them.)

The choices we choose to make, and the feelings we allow to linger and stay.

And I was reminded of how life is such an ebb and flow.

How we find ourselves in circumstance and opposition, in happiness and joy and love. And if we can just keep moving, everything has the chance to flow evermore gracefully.

We can be so much more radiant. So full of life. And light.

And ultimately, it is WE who get to choose to grow or regress.

To become stronger. Or wiser.

Perhaps we’ll simply settle for a weaker existence. Maybe we’ll dull out.

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And if we can learn anything from nature it is the art of flow.

I’m an avid student of life. I learn as I go.

And whatever pain experienced, finding the surprises in the outcomes. Like little lessons tucked away just waiting for me to open them.

So my question is this: What lesson is life offering up to us right now? And how can we master the art of flow in our lives so that we can live it ever more gracefully? More gently?

I love you. You are absolutely wonderful. And beautiful beyond measure.

What’s your soul crying out for today?

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So, I went on this bike ride…

and it turned into this poem.

I love you forever,
❤ B

P.S. See what I did there? Forever truly is a long time. But then again, time is merely a feeling. Muah ❤

From breakdown to breakthrough

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Here I am again.

On the brink of another breakthrough.

Growing and learning and breaking down.

Hard.

And it’s terrifying.

And exciting.

The realization that INFINITY exists, and to even slightly begin to wrap our minds around it begins a process of true bliss that we can’t really stop. That we would never wish to stop. When we come to realize that we create our own limitations. That literally ANYTHING we want truly DOES exist and can become a part of our daily lives if we just BELIEVE.

Ohh how I have been in a constant state of thinking, over-thinking, analyzing EVERYTHING down to the tiniest particle. Going through the breakdowns, the breakthroughs. Helping and healing myself. And in turn others.

My entire perspective on life constantly evolving. Changing with every moment that I interact with the world around me. Within me.

Recognizing that we are all one in the same. We are spirit.

And all we truly need IS love. To love, and to be loved. To speak with love. Act with love.

Intentions.

Recognising just how MUCH time we spend in our ego, and how much more life has to offer us when we live in spirit. When we speak from our hearts instead of our heads. When we become vulnerable enough to have the ability to connect with others around us in such a way that we feel love in the deepest capacity.

Love is in everything we do. I see love all around me.

In the eyes of strangers. In the laughter of a child at play. In the plate of food that will nourish my body. In nature. A tree. A flower. A stream trickling over rocks through parks and farms and plains.

I see love when I close my eyes. I see it in my dreams.

And I feel it in a moment of bliss. When the wind blows past my cheeks. In a delicate kiss.

What is love then you ask?

Love is you.

Love is me.

I love you to infinity,
❤ B

Coming back to love

When I come back to a place of love, I don’t feel empty any longer.

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I was just thinking about life.. like I normally do. Deeply analyzing why I’m doing what I’m doing, why I have certain thoughts, why I believe what I believe, and how I’m forming decisions.

Trying to define myself all the while…that’s how I feel secure in life..to have this “role” I define myself by, whether it be job title or family title…but eventually THAT feels constricting because now I’ve placed myself into a box. Limitations creep in and I feel suffocated.

All of this can be quite energy depleting, not to mention overwhelming when I keep it all to myself. Hold it all in.

So I was reading a Wayne Dyer email I received (his family is still sending them out..how amazing is that?!) And the words he wrote were perfect for me to hear at just this exact moment. Something struck a chord in me.

I started balling! In fact, my cheeks are still wet as I write this..

I kept trying to “figure out” who I am in the eyes of others. I know myself, but how does the world see me? My family, my friends, my coworkers, strangers…

How am I showing up on the outside? I know how I’m feeling on the INSIDE…

Are my actions and decisions frowned upon? Should I go after a “soul-calling” to travel and experience the world without “security” of a job? Or should I just stay in one location for the rest of my life to suit everyone else? To hold on to the security of the job? To make others happy…and then maybe I will be too?

And the “conclusive question” I came to is this.. does it even matter?

Who cares what other people think?

Either way, people will think what they want to. Period.

There’s no changing that. I could try to manipulate people into thinking one way or another…but honestly, that’s a whole lot of work for something that truly doesn’t matter.

The real question is…”What do I think?”

That’s more true for me.

I know myself better than anyone else. Sometimes I don’t see things in myself and others help me to see aspects of my personality that I am blinded by..but my truest nature? I KNOW down to my BONES my truest nature.

And that is one of love.

Wayne Dyer is an amazing being.

Here are 2 little excerpts that I’ll leave you with today that totally rocked my world..

“Remove labels attached to your life. Make an attempt to describe yourself without using any labels. Write a few paragraphs in which you do not mention your age, sex, position, title, accomplishments, possessions, experiences, heritage or geographic data. Simple write a statement about who you are, independent of all appearances.

Cultivate your calling. Make an attempt to shift your career objective from self-absorption to a calling. That’s right, a calling. Remind yourself that this is an intelligent system and that you are here to be love and have love by serving. Use your talents and special interests to fulfill your service with your calling. Your life work will take on a dramatic shift toward abundance, and you will feel on purpose and on the path of the sacred quest.””

— Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Just. Be. YOU.

That is all God asks. That is all the universe asks.

We are all beings of light and love. Go and be that. Today.

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I love you,
❤ Brittany

Lessons learned from my friend who is dying

Love, infinite love.

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She is exactly that.

And as I sit here writing today, bittersweet feelings rush through my body. Feelings of grief and overwhelming sadness, but also of absolute joy and abundant love.

You see, my best friend in whole wide world, Precious, is entering her last stages of life. We’ve been joined at the hip for 17 years now, ever since I was 12.

She’s been through every thing with me: grade-school, summer vacations, jam-sessions, holidays, break-ups, adventures, graduations, marriage, the ups, the downs, and all of the in-betweens.

She’s heard my laughter and has seen my tears. She knows all of my secrets.

Memories upon memories we’ve shared..

And.. she’s dying.


I’ve seen this day coming for a while now, but it doesn’t make it any easier. So, in order to release what’s coming up for me during these tougher of times, I’m using writing as my outlet.

She’s here with me now, helping me as I write, (critiquing as always) and she says it’s okay to share some of her kitty-wisdom with you today. 🙂

I’d like to share with you all of my most “precious” lessons learned from this amazing, tiny, lady cat who may not speak much human, but has a tremendous way with words. She will forever live in my heart, and her spirit will never cease to guide me.

Lessons learned from my little bundle of joy:

❤ How to keep on going when the going gets tough.
❤ How to love so deeply that it hurts.
❤ How to comfort others.
❤ How to have fun.
❤ How to do what I want.
❤ How to not care what other people think.
❤ How to truly give and expect nothing in return (okay, except when treats are involved! 😉 )
❤ How to fight back when necessary.
❤ How to stay strong, even when I’m at my weakest.
❤ How to be gentle.
❤ How to find strength in the pain.
❤ How to flow through this river of life.
❤ How to be vulnerable.
❤ How to use my intuition.
❤ How to trust.
❤ How to be patient.
❤ How to speak my truth.
❤ How to fully enjoy life.
❤ How to relax.
❤ How to “just be.”
❤ How to be independent.
❤ How to soak up the sunshine on a warm summer day.
❤ How to be present.
❤ How to find peace.


She’s given me the true gift that keeps on giving, and that is real, absolute, and self-less love.

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My mom messaged me the other day. She told me that “Precious is very lucky that you chose her.” And it’s funny, because although I’d like to buy into the story that “she’s the lucky one,” I feel that “I’m so lucky that she chose ME.”

She’s saved me.

Dr. Seuss says, “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” That’s hard sometimes. And although I’ve had my bouts of tears, I can genuinely smile knowing that she’s lived a long and happy life, full of love and joy and adventure.

It’s tough sometimes, this life. We want so badly to hold on to things forever, but sometimes it’s more meaningful when we allow ourselves to let go.

It’s less painful. Less suffering.

True love lets go.

Since I really love her, I’ll have to allow myself to let her to drift off into that peaceful, and dreamless sleep. To rest. To be at peace.

I started feeling really anxious and heart-broken so I went outside to think and to meditate. I sat under the willow tree in my backyard.

And I cried.

Like that deep, most vulnerable cry… I cried like a child.

And as I sat, looking down at the grass that connects us all, I decided in that moment how I want to honor Precious when she passes on from this life in the physical world.

And (after clearing it with her of course) I’ve decided that I want to bury her under the willow. I decided it might be nice to also plant some shade-loving flowers over her that will come back every spring, in memory of her.

After all, she is my little flower, beautiful in every way.

She is also my love and is love in every sense of the word. She has made such a tremendous imprint on my heart and I’ll carry her for always.

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I’d now like to send out a genuine token of appreciation to all of my friends and family for your love and never-ending support through this season of my life.


A most genuine “Thank you.”

To my husband, Nathan, who was there to support me through this last leg of the journey of Precious’ life, for being strong, and loving me through it all.

To my dad, who made countless trips to the store for more foods than he could ever have imagined buying for this picky little lady.

To my mom who was always there to comfort the girl when I was away, for all her love she’s given through the years.

To my sister, Denise, and my friend and soul-sister Kimberly, who would check in on me and kitty, sending all their love my way.

To Adyson, who would comfort and love on kitty when I was away..always being so gentle with her.

To Alejandra and Tyler who helped keep my heart light on the days when I felt the most despair.

To Sara, Zac and Katherine for prayers and the freedom from work to spend quality time with this girl.

To Dr. Zack who made this process a gentle one, believing that every thing happens in due-time. For respecting the natural processes of life, and of death.

To my friends and other soul-sisters Anna, Christian, and Meda for truly knowing and understanding the connection and depth of love one can have for a cat. For helping me not feel so crazy about loving mine so strongly, and with my whole heart.

And last but not least, to my Grandma and Grandpa Usher, for gifting me with this beautiful soul..these moments could never have been possible if we never went and picked out our tiny rescue kitty on that beautiful autumn day 🙂

I know there are many more friends that have meant so much to me that I have not named, (Cough, cough, Edwin!?) but know that you mean something too and that I am completely grateful for you. Each and every person in my life has helped me cope with each of life’s surprises in one way or another, and for that, I love you all. ❤

May we all find peace and love in the life that we were given. May we learn lessons in the tough times and help others in our moments of strength. May we love fully, even when it hurts.

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I love you,
❤ B

My heart weeps in moments like these

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!WARNING: This is an extremely controversial topic, but I can’t help but share some of my thoughts. You’re welcome to disagree, to quit reading after the first paragraph, or to comment with any thoughts or emotions that are brought up for you.

Keep in mind while reading, that this post is out of love. For the love of the animals! And the planet. ❤ I love you.

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Big truck. Semi. Hundreds of tiny feather-lined cages. Now empty.

Tears fall down my cheeks. I know the truth. I know the torture. Innocent babies. Innocent friends.

Murdered.

Nobody realizes. Nobody realizes the truth.

Super market shelves stocked full of cleaned meats, organized & all prettied up for display. No blood. No tears. Nobody realizes the torture that went into getting that meat from factory farm to market.

I cry. Weep. I feel extreme pains in my chest. My stomach turns.

I was once a murderer too. In a way. I paid others to kill animals, so that I could get my daily dose of protein and flavor. I thought it was the only way. I was once paying for my plates ‘full of fear’ at the local restaurants. Everywhere. Plates full of sadness. I didn’t know. In fact, I had no idea.

I grew up eating this way, why would I ever change?

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It is in these moments that I am so grateful for finding a different path. A new path. A diet that is filled with compassion and love, no animals harmed in the process.

When I see trucks filled to the brim with livestock living beings, my beautiful friends, I want so badly to set them free. I want so badly to purchase them myself and give them home. A kind home, full of love and peace and playfulness. A place where they can live their lives. The way they were meant to.

I believe I will one day own my personal animal sanctuary. I can’t help but feel extreme compassion for living beings. I can’t help but love on all the animals that roam this beautiful earth.

They’re all here for a reason, and I’m not so positive it’s just so we could eat them. They have souls. Just as we do. We wouldn’t eat each other–or our cats, or our dogs, or horses–so what makes a chicken, a fish, a pig, a deer, a lamb, or a cow any different?

They play. They all have the ability to feel joy. Feel fear. Nurture their young, and protect their families from harm. They’re so much like we humans. But we fail to see that sometimes.

This video brings up extreme emotions for me. At 1:17 into the video when the cows start literally jumping in the air, full of happiness and joy, I myself am filled with those emotions 🙂 But it also pains me. I wish all cows could experience life in this way. But they don’t.

This inspires me. Inspires me to make a difference. To create a peaceful planet full of safety and love. A place where all beings look out for one another, despite their species.

But it all starts right here. With me. In order to create the world I want, I must start actually doing things in my own life. Creating real change in myself, in order to create the change I want to see in the world.

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This post wasn’t written to bring up guilt in those who choose to eat meat. It’s not so I can say to everyone “I’m right. You’re wrong.”

I don’t know everything. I only know what I feel and what I experience personally.

The reason I wrote this was to bring up an alternative perspective. I understand that our culture tells us a different story. We’re brought up in homes with parents who teach us their ways, and many of us never question it, let alone change it.

I’m only asking that more people just think about the other side of the story for a second. See if their lifestyles are consistent with their deepest values. I mean really think about it.

And, if during that search within yourself, you find that perhaps your lifestyle doesn’t quite match up with your values, it might be something worth looking into.

Again, I love you. I’m so grateful for you. We’re all here for a reason. Let’s make a positive change in the lives of each other. In the lives of all living beings.

With peace & love and as much gratitude a heart can hold,
❤ Brittany

Photo Credit: Compassion Over Killing – http://www.cok.net/inv/maryland-egg-farms/county-fair-farms/02_4cff05cu3/

Secrets to Success (I Dare you to read to the end)

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I’m a complainer. I complain about everything! I complain in my head to myself. I complain about others. I complain out loud to myself, and I complain to others.

After having said that, it would come as no surprise to you that the past couple of days I’ve been…complaining.

Mostly about my recent business endeavors not panning out like I wanted them to. In my (opened-just-this-month) business, MaidInNWA, we’ve been looking for quality cleaners for a month. I researched some local cleaners, contacted them and finally found some potential cleaners who I met over coffee last week.

I traveled 15 miles to meet them, paid for their drinks, and spent an hour or so talking with them. After hearing about the work opportunity, they told me they were excited! They were excited about the opportunity to work with me. And I was excited back.

I had a great feeling about them too. I thought they would be a perfect fit for our business!

And then I received the message.

Today.

They notify me TODAY telling me that they don’t want the job.

So, back to the drawing board.

Back to square one.

I’ll be honest here. I started feeling sorry for myself a bit. I got really frustrated and just wanted to quit. After investing so much time, effort, energy, and money into these people, they turned out to be just another dead end. I felt kind of gypped.

I had this expectation, and then reality hit. Dream destroyed.

That leads me to tell you this:

I got a real kick in the pants today.

A big one.

My husband showed me these videos I’m about to share with you. They are truly amazing. I’ll say it again because you might have missed it: These videos are AMAZING! The message has forever changed my life. Already.

They’re about the secrets to success, and I encourage each and every one of you who are reading this right now to watch both videos ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

And then share. (With everyone!)

You don’t want to miss this! If you strive for success in anything: your marriage, your grades, your business, whatever- watch this. The first video is 9 minutes long and the 2nd video 5 minutes. That equates to 14 minutes of your time. Spend a little less time watching T.V. tonight, or playing Candy Crush Saga so you can watch these videos.

I’m serious! You’ll be glad you did.

Eric Thomas-Secrets to Success (part 1) (9min): 

Eric Thomas-Secrets to Success (part 2) (5min): 

If you’re not able to watch or don’t like watching videos, here are some quotes from Eric’s videos that stood out to me in a powerful way.

None are more important than the rest, so here goes:

“If you really want to be successful, you’ve got to be willing to give up sleep. That’s how bad you’ve gotta want it. Listen to me, you’ve gotta want to be successful so bad that you forget to eat!”

“Sleep is for those people who are broke. I don’t sleep. I got an opportunity to make a dream become a reality.” – 50 Cent when asked “When do you sleep?”

“Don’t cry to give up, cry to keep goin! Don’t cry to quit! You’re already in pain, you’re already hurt! Get a reward from it! Don’t go to sleep until you succeed!”

“All men are created equal, some work harder in pre-season.”

“When I went to college guys were way smarter than me, 4.0’s, 3.0s, they went to the Ivy League Highschools- most of them are not doing what I’m doing. Why? ‘Cause it’s not about where you come from. It’s about heart. You come to a place where being smart ain’t enough. You gotta have heart.”

“The most important thing is this: You’ve gotta be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you will become.”

“The problem is, you ain’t never felt no pain before- you soft! It’s a soft generation! You quit on everything! You quittin’ and you ain’t even tryin’!”

“Pain is temporary. It may last for a moment, for a day, or even a year. But eventually, it will subside. And something else will take it’s place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.”

“I was homeless for 2 years. And the problem with most of you is that you’ve never felt no pain before. You’re spoiled. Some of ya’ll spoiled, bottom line. Your parents have done everything for you. You ain’t never had to do nothin’ for yourself, you’re spoiled. We’re gonna keep it real tonight, some of you are spoiled brats! Everytime you ever got in trouble somebody in your house got you out of it…Some of you have never learned to grow up. So everytime somethin’ gets hard, you quit, you call momma. I DARE you to take a little pain. I dare you.”

“At the end of pain is success! You ain’t gonna die, because you felt a little pain!”

“You’ve got to give it everything you got.”

So that’s it. Those are the secrets. It’s all about heart. It’s about keepin’ on keepin’ on when the going gets tough. It’s about fighting through even when you feel like giving up. It’s about feeling pain, and taking notice, and then moving forward anyway. It’s about looking your fears straight in the eyes and charging at them, full speed. It’s determination. It’s sacrifice. It’s heart.

With that, I’d just like to say: Thank you Eric Thomas. Wherever you are out there, thank you! May you be blessed in your time on this beautiful earth. You have forever changed my life in a positive way, so I thank you.

What are your thoughts on success? Feel free to comment below with your answers!

Peace & Love,