I think we’ve all been here before.
We have a new, life-changing opportunity- say we landed a new job, found out we were pregnant, found the love of our life, bought a new home, got accepted to that highly esteemed university miles away from home.
And it’s interesting. When we’re really watching, we find that our emotions can be completely confusing.
On one hand, we’re really excited: “New life, Here we come!” And on the other hand we’re totally and extremely scared to death.
We introduce worry into our lives asking questions like:
– “What if I fail?”
– “What if I’m not good enough?”
– “What if I don’t measure up, and make a fool of myself?”
It’s this internal battle between excitement and fear that makes us feel so..
We start questioning ourselves:
– “Was this the right move?”
– “Why the heck did I do this?”
– “Is this really even what I want?”
I bring this up because an amazing opportunity has been offered to me.
I went out in search of it, and things unfolded into something that has the potential to be a beautiful thing.
It’s not set in stone quite yet, so I’ll have to keep the details of it a secret for now.
But my emotions…Now those I can share with you! (And those of you who know me personally understand that I have plenty of them to go around!) 🙂
So more about this opportunity and my internal battle around it.
Awesome & Exciting Aspects:
- It would be an amazing change of pace
- Different, (better?) lifestyle
- Adventure, and lots of it
- New friends
- Helping make a difference in people’s lives
- Increase my personal independence and confidence
- Multiple new opportunities
- Learn another culture and language
Scary & Uncomfortable Aspects:
- Long way from home, family, & friends
- New surroundings/ way of life
- Have never done it before, afraid of failure and not being good enough
- Scared it won’t be as awesome as I think it will be
- Afraid of being taken advantage of, since I’m new to it
- Fear of looking stupid and people laughing at me
- Scared my cat (my ultimate soul mate in life) will pass away while in my absence
- Will be away for a while
I understand logically that the experience will be what I make it. I ultimately have the choice to see the positive side to the process. Not dwell on the less-than-great aspects.
I understand that nothing is permanent. I won’t be there forever. I won’t be in any one place forever for that matter. I ultimately have the choice to leave whenever I want. Because I can.
So I guess I’m coming to a possible conclusion that in order to welcome any change into our lives, we must be willing to let go of the stories. Let go of the thoughts that aren’t serving us. Because the truth is that I don’t know anything. I don’t know anything at all.
Maybe I’ll die later today and all my worries would be for nothing. The truth is that I don’t know what things will happen, good or bad. No one does.
So through this process of excitement and doubt, and the torn emotions I’ve been experiencing, I’ve come to realize that life is all about balance. It’s constant struggle to find the balances in our thoughts. Our emotions. Our lives.
Every moment is precious. Let’s start living each moment like we really believe that. When you start thinking thoughts that are full of worry, obsessing over the same old things, getting the same old results -(anxiety, depression, resentment, fear)- Acknowledge them, and allow them to pass.
Let them go.
Allow yourself to be free. Free from the mental clutter. The incessant chatter. Find the balance.
Be the balance.
Thank you so much for reading! (You made it to the end!)
I love you more than you know.
With all the gratitude a heart can hold,