Five years ALREADY?

So today is my 5-year wedding anniversary..(wow, has it really been five years?!) Interesting how the time goes by whether we ask it to or not..we can’t control it..and after all, time is just a feeling.

Anyway, back to the message at hand.. 😉

So I felt inclined to read through an old letter my husband wrote me last year, that I stumbled upon this morning in my dresser drawer. Of course, I was hit with tremendous waves of emotion..mainly those of deep gratitude, joy, and love.

I am so grateful to get to peek inside his heart at any given moment, day or night, through his gifts of the written word tucked away in notes for only my eyes to see.

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I love that he puts in the time and effort to express his love, devotion, and appreciation to me in his writing. I really am loved. And I am so grateful for that.

I wanted to write a blog-post, well..mainly because I’ve gotta get down to the REALITIES of life, love, and marriage..but ALSO I wrote too much within a single Facebook post (haha!) so I figured I’d transfer it over here where it’s more easily accessed, read, and so on..

Sooo…MARRIAGE. Oh, what to say about marriage.

It’s definitely not what I thought it would be..

It’s MORE.

Like, I never thought a person could encounter so much happiness, and struggle and pain, move through it, and end up on the other side stronger and more in love than ever. And oh, has it been a ride!

I’ve literally wanted to give up more times than I can count, thinking the grass would always be greener on the other side..but then after sticking through the tough times, speaking my truths, being completely torn apart and vulnerable and communicating with words and actions of love..failing with the love part sometimes a lot..but continuing on..

Well, it turns out that keeping both feet in only made for a better tomorrow..and the next day.

There’s a quote I’m reminded of in this moment..”That which is most satisfying is that which is earned. Anything received free of charge is seldom valued. You can’t get something for (from) nothing. The price is too high.” -Kekich Credo #38

So the message I really want to convey today is this: anything actually worth having will require a certain level of persistence, effort, commitment, and understanding. If I have learned anything in my marriage over the past five years, it is that we create our own realities and that we have all the power in the world to cultivate what we want in life… especially in our relationships, not only with ourselves, but with the ones we love most dear.

I am coming to realize that within this experience I call our “humanness,” is wherein lies absolute perfection.

Without the sudden changes, the unknowns, the plans not going according to plan.. all of it is on purpose. And we don’t have to understand right away, or ever know why. But, what we can do, is trust that in someway, whatever happens in our reality is what’s meant to happen. It’s what’s better for us in the long run. Even if we don’t fully understand it in the moment.

My marriage has been filled with all sorts of amazing things: lessons and learning, adventure, passion, love, joy, faithfulness, commitment..but I won’t delude anyone into thinking that it’s been an easy ride..or “perfect” in the sense that nothing painful ever happens.

Just because on my Facebook profile you only see the happy, adventurous, seemingly-perfect moments, doesn’t mean the exact opposite hasn’t been a complete part of my journey here as well. In fact, much of my time has been spent in darker places before the sun could shine through.

In my marriage over the past 5 years, there has been miscommunication, pain, personal suffering, confusion, questioning, fights, arguments, you name it… But in the end, and through it all, my husband and I both have grown tremendously and are exponentially stronger than ever for going through the pain, truly dealing with it, and moving forward.

I hope that this message can shed some light on some of the realities of life. I hope that what you gain from reading these words is that life in itself IS perfection. All of it’s seemingly random moments, the confusion, the pain, the struggle, the loss, and most of all the messiness.

It’s all a part of the journey.

And the more we can honor and embrace those tougher moments, and really GO deep within ourselves to find our truth and deal with what’s coming up for us, the better off we are in the long run.

I was chatting with my friend Brittany just last night..and we talked about the truth that “the old must die off, before the new can come in.” And what a solid truth that is..in ALL aspects of our lives!

So. Here’s to five-years my love! I am now such a radically changed human in comparison to who I was when we first met.. the old has officially died off (and continues to die more every day) and the new is shining through. I see light in our future. Abundance. Joy. Growth. And a whole lotta love.

I love you more than words could ever express and I look forward to the adventures and struggles that lie ahead..which will only serve to move us closer to our goals in healing the world and making it a better place..making a positive impact on those we meet along the way.

Happy sunshiney day! Be a light in the darkness. Find the magic in all the moments. And live with purpose. Joy. And a heart full of love.

Sincerely yours,
❤ B

Secrets to Success (I Dare you to read to the end)

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I’m a complainer. I complain about everything! I complain in my head to myself. I complain about others. I complain out loud to myself, and I complain to others.

After having said that, it would come as no surprise to you that the past couple of days I’ve been…complaining.

Mostly about my recent business endeavors not panning out like I wanted them to. In my (opened-just-this-month) business, MaidInNWA, we’ve been looking for quality cleaners for a month. I researched some local cleaners, contacted them and finally found some potential cleaners who I met over coffee last week.

I traveled 15 miles to meet them, paid for their drinks, and spent an hour or so talking with them. After hearing about the work opportunity, they told me they were excited! They were excited about the opportunity to work with me. And I was excited back.

I had a great feeling about them too. I thought they would be a perfect fit for our business!

And then I received the message.

Today.

They notify me TODAY telling me that they don’t want the job.

So, back to the drawing board.

Back to square one.

I’ll be honest here. I started feeling sorry for myself a bit. I got really frustrated and just wanted to quit. After investing so much time, effort, energy, and money into these people, they turned out to be just another dead end. I felt kind of gypped.

I had this expectation, and then reality hit. Dream destroyed.

That leads me to tell you this:

I got a real kick in the pants today.

A big one.

My husband showed me these videos I’m about to share with you. They are truly amazing. I’ll say it again because you might have missed it: These videos are AMAZING! The message has forever changed my life. Already.

They’re about the secrets to success, and I encourage each and every one of you who are reading this right now to watch both videos ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

And then share. (With everyone!)

You don’t want to miss this! If you strive for success in anything: your marriage, your grades, your business, whatever- watch this. The first video is 9 minutes long and the 2nd video 5 minutes. That equates to 14 minutes of your time. Spend a little less time watching T.V. tonight, or playing Candy Crush Saga so you can watch these videos.

I’m serious! You’ll be glad you did.

Eric Thomas-Secrets to Success (part 1) (9min): 

Eric Thomas-Secrets to Success (part 2) (5min): 

If you’re not able to watch or don’t like watching videos, here are some quotes from Eric’s videos that stood out to me in a powerful way.

None are more important than the rest, so here goes:

“If you really want to be successful, you’ve got to be willing to give up sleep. That’s how bad you’ve gotta want it. Listen to me, you’ve gotta want to be successful so bad that you forget to eat!”

“Sleep is for those people who are broke. I don’t sleep. I got an opportunity to make a dream become a reality.” – 50 Cent when asked “When do you sleep?”

“Don’t cry to give up, cry to keep goin! Don’t cry to quit! You’re already in pain, you’re already hurt! Get a reward from it! Don’t go to sleep until you succeed!”

“All men are created equal, some work harder in pre-season.”

“When I went to college guys were way smarter than me, 4.0’s, 3.0s, they went to the Ivy League Highschools- most of them are not doing what I’m doing. Why? ‘Cause it’s not about where you come from. It’s about heart. You come to a place where being smart ain’t enough. You gotta have heart.”

“The most important thing is this: You’ve gotta be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what you are for what you will become.”

“The problem is, you ain’t never felt no pain before- you soft! It’s a soft generation! You quit on everything! You quittin’ and you ain’t even tryin’!”

“Pain is temporary. It may last for a moment, for a day, or even a year. But eventually, it will subside. And something else will take it’s place. If I quit, however, it will last forever.”

“I was homeless for 2 years. And the problem with most of you is that you’ve never felt no pain before. You’re spoiled. Some of ya’ll spoiled, bottom line. Your parents have done everything for you. You ain’t never had to do nothin’ for yourself, you’re spoiled. We’re gonna keep it real tonight, some of you are spoiled brats! Everytime you ever got in trouble somebody in your house got you out of it…Some of you have never learned to grow up. So everytime somethin’ gets hard, you quit, you call momma. I DARE you to take a little pain. I dare you.”

“At the end of pain is success! You ain’t gonna die, because you felt a little pain!”

“You’ve got to give it everything you got.”

So that’s it. Those are the secrets. It’s all about heart. It’s about keepin’ on keepin’ on when the going gets tough. It’s about fighting through even when you feel like giving up. It’s about feeling pain, and taking notice, and then moving forward anyway. It’s about looking your fears straight in the eyes and charging at them, full speed. It’s determination. It’s sacrifice. It’s heart.

With that, I’d just like to say: Thank you Eric Thomas. Wherever you are out there, thank you! May you be blessed in your time on this beautiful earth. You have forever changed my life in a positive way, so I thank you.

What are your thoughts on success? Feel free to comment below with your answers!

Peace & Love,

Do it anyway

Ever had any of those annoying tasks on your never-ending to-do list’ that just never get done?

I know I have.

And it’s terrible. There seems to be this constant war going on within my mind until I get the darn thing done.

Yet we prolong the pain. We wait until later. We think: “I’ve worked hard enough today, maybe I’ll feel like doing it tomorrow.”

And the war goes on.

Because, (secretly), we really DO want to just get it done, mark it off the list, and be through with it.

But, we make these simple tasks seem so extraordinarily HUGE and SCARY and difficult . We make them out to be much worse than they really are. We cause ourselves more grief by putting them off, than if we would have just tackled them right away!

Then, even worse, we STILL put them off! And the longer we put them off, the longer they get pushed to the side to make room for simpler, less scary tasks. What a cycle, huh?

What if we tried this instead?

The next time you ‘don’t feel like‘ doing something, acknowledge the fact that you just don’t want to do it. Be 100% honest with yourself: “I know I need to do ___, but I just don’t feel like it!”

Then do it anyway.

No more whining. No more complaining.

Don’t feel like it?

Acknowledge those feelings, then do it anyway.

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I’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave a comment on the site!

Waiting..

Have you ever set a goal that had the potential to change the entire course of your life?

I know I have. And on multiple occasions.

I’ve set all kinds of grand and ambitious goals that, if followed through with, could have changed my life for the better.

And you know what? (I’ll be honest with you)

Nearly every goal I set winds up on some ‘to do’ list that never gets done. I’ve had plenty of opportunities for positively changing the course of my life, but it never happens.

Why?

Waiting.

Waiting to start. Waiting for some precondition. Waiting until I know more information. Waiting until I have more time.

One truth I recently stumbled upon is this:

“Waiting for all the green lights is waiting for the skies to turn purple on the third Wednesday in November..There is never perfect timing and waiting for ‘someday’ just wastes time. Someday is today. Today is now.” (MJ DeMarco -The Millionaire Fastlane)

Wow. Now that’s a swift kick in the pants!

Who would’ve thought that waiting for ‘just the right moment’ just doesn’t work? I guess we’re all guilty of this illusion; that if we just ‘had more money‘, or ‘had more experiencethen we would…(fill in the blank).

Well, you guessed it.. We’ll never get ANYWHERE with that mindset!

So how about we challenge ourselves today? Let’s start NOW on our journey. Let’s take one step in the right direction today. It could be as simple as just setting your goal, or brainstorming specific action steps to achieve your goal. Maybe you already know what you need to do, but just haven’t ‘gotten around to it‘ yet.

Whatever the case may be, move forward one pace today. (And do it now!)